Abokobi James Bond

Ghana just turned 69 years old, (a very meme-able number) and the country is giving that uncle-at-a-birthday-party energy. You know the one. Fresh cloth, big smile, dancing to highlife… but quietly complaining about back pain and electricity bills. Independence Day came with the usual flags, speeches, and school kids marching. But while the band was playing patriotic songs, the news cycle was doing its own freestyle in the background.

Take this week alone. On one side of the country, a court in Wa just handed life imprisonment to a serial killer who confessed to killing 23 people across multiple towns. Then somewhere else in the country, a man apparently looked at a protected forest reserve, a place where animals are supposed to live their quiet wildlife documentary lives and said, “Yeah… today I feel like hunting here.” The court said, “Relax Tarzan,” and handed him three years in jail for illegal hunting. And as if the drama menu wasn’t already full, government offices might soon feel quieter than a church on Monday because CLOGSAG has declared a nationwide strike starting March 9 over salary structure issues.

And then the one that really made the country pause: Ghanaian soldiers serving on a UN peacekeeping mission in Lebanon had their base hit by missiles. Two soldiers were critically injured, and another was traumatised after the strike.

• International: Two Ghanaian peacekeepers got hurt, Ghana’s like “Ei UN, sort your business.”

• Crime: He played love doctor online, hearts got broken, wallets emptied, and the FBI came knocking.

• Politics: Bicycles for MPs? Speaker Bagbin says ‘Nah fam, 4x4s stay.

• Crime: Abokobi land guard caught with arsenal that would make Hollywood jealous.

• National: When your river looks like chocolate milk and your forest turns into a sandy parking lot, maybe it’s time to shoot to kill.

• Fact of the Day: The man who invented pop-up ads regrets it.

• General News: Nana Agradaa OUT! Nsawam couldn’t hold her.

• Crime: Bro said it was a TikTok challenge… Police said ‘come and explain yourself’.

QUICK BYTE

• Saviour Kojo Ekpe has been out here in Abokobi playing James Bond. People were saying he was scaring folks left, right, and center, and allegedly renting guns to criminals. The police finally came through on March 5, and when they checked his room… bruh, it was like a small arms expo. Four pump-action shotguns, a Glock, bullets for days…101 AA and BB cartridges just chilling plus a jack knife. I mean, I don’t even think ECG engineers’ toolboxes put together have that many tools, and this guy had ammo for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He admitted, “Yeah, these are mine,” but couldn’t explain why he needed that many guns. Classic “personal protection and hunting” excuse. Mhmm… sure, like you go hunt with a Glock indoors. Read more

• Our boys are out in southern Lebanon, doing the whole peacekeeper thing trying to keep everyone from beefing while somehow staying alive. Suddenly, kaboom! Some nonsense attack happens and now two soldiers are lying hurt. You can hear the group chat in Accra: “Whaaat? Our guys?” So Ghana doesn’t do the “oh, that’s sad” thing. Nah, the Foreign Affairs Minister, Samuel Okudzeto Ablakwa, is like sliding into the UN’s DMs screaming, “Yo António Guterres, investigate ASAP. We want answers, like yesterday!” Meanwhile, back home, prayers are out and family stress is real. Read more

• This week, Patricia Asiedua Asiamah, widely known as Nana Agradaa, or Evangelist Mama Pat, stepped outta Nsawam Prison after 8 months. Remember that 15-year sentence she got in 2025 over the whole money-doubling church scheme? Well, the High Court later looked at it and basically said, “Hmm… this punishment is a bit too heavy.” They cut it down to 12 months instead. Because of Ghana’s remission rules (good-behaviour credit in prison), she didn’t have to serve the full year. Our woman says while inside the cooler, she was deep in Acts, vibing with the OGs of jail survival, Peter, Paul & Silas.😒😒 Read more

• There’s this Ghanaian guy, Derrick Van Yeboah aka “Van” out there in the US court confessing he scammed people online. Not small-time jollof-level scam, nah, he pulled a full-on Hollywood romance heist. He made fake online lovers, slid into people’s DMs like he was the next Nicholas Sparks, and somehow got folks to send him over $10 million. Yeah… billionaire vibes for a minute, but illegal. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below.

• Some wise elders out here on GTV were like, “Yo, why don’t MPs just ride bicycles instead of 4x4s?” And Ghana’s Speaker of Parliament, Alban Bagbin, had to calm the country down.“Chill fam, you’re comparing Ghana to the UK? Our MPs can’t be pedalling through Kumasi traffic in Lycra, okay?” Bagbin went full storyteller mode, talking about how MPs’ work isn’t just office-to-office vibes. These Honourables are bouncing across constituencies, villages, and cities like it’s a marathon. Imagine expecting someone to deliver bills, meet chiefs, and attend sessions all on a bike with the heat and dust out here. Read more

• Security Analyst, Dr Ishmael Norman was talking about galamsey earlier. Bruh was like, “This thing is not small, this is war!” And honestly, looking at the stats, he ain’t even exaggerating. Nearly 9,000 hectares of forest gone. That’s like 9,000 soccer fields just poof, disappeared! And guess what? Over 5,200 of those got wrecked in the last three years alone. He was throwing hands at the big players behind the scenes too. According to him, most of the young miners out there? Pawns. The real bosses are chilling in offices somewhere, making moves while rivers get poisoned and forests vanish. Norman’s point? Arresting the small fry is like hitting mosquitoes with a bazooka. Cute, but won’t stop the damage. Then came the part that had us like, “wait, what?” He suggested shoot-to-kill. Homie literally said if it’s a war, let’s act like it. Read more

• The police cyber team, the folks who patrol the internet like digital security guards, spotted some very spicy videos circulating online. After a little digging, all roads pointed to a 23-year-old student named Nhyira Papa Kojo Egyir Hayford. Apparently, the videos were sitting comfortably on a public Snapchat account. When the police brought him in for questioning, the guy reportedly said the whole thing was because of a TikTok challenge called “Anti Shakira’s.” Yes. A challenge. Read more

DEEP DIVE

Van Cupid.

So imagine being a lonely auntie or uncle thinking they found their soulmate online, and then BOOM, they end up funding Van’s shopping spree. He wasn’t even subtle; prosecutors say he built fake relationships, dropped the “I love yous,” cried a bit online, and then suddenly it’s “Babe, I need money for emergencies.” And just like that, ka-ching! Money gone, heartbroken, faith in online dating? Shredded.

But Van didn’t just stick to love scams; he had a business side hustle too. He and the squad were sliding into company inboxes, pretending to be CEOs or finance people, and tricking companies into wiring money into his accounts. All roads led to West Africa, Ghana specifically, turning him into an international cybercrime GPS marker. In total, his crew allegedly ran away with over $100 million. Van personally bagged a sweet $10 million. Not bad if you ignore the FBI, US law, and prison vibes.

Now he’s sitting in court in New York, pleading guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Maximum sentence? 20 years in the slammer. Judge Subramanian is like, “See you June 3 for sentencing, Van.” Meanwhile, the FBI and Ghanaian authorities are high fiving each other for tracking this guy down. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from:

1. www.myjoyonline.com

2. www.ghanaweb.com

3. www.citinewsroom.com

4. www.norvanreports.com

5. Channel1news