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- Breaking bread🫢
Chaaale!! How be? Everything cool? Nice one!
The stories this week dier, chao. Here are the ones proudly brought to you today:
Crime: Bro said “let’s break bread” … but the law broke him instead.
National: Ghana babies clocking NSS before they can even say “mama.”
Economic: Chale, the cedi is moving like that friend who swears they’re off toxic relationships but still sneaks back every Friday night.
Economic: AGOA is dead, long live tariffs.
National: Government building stadiums be like buying waakye at the mall, same rice, same beans, but somehow, you’re paying champagne price.
Fact of the Day: You can dig a hole to China if you start from… find out in the stories.
Sports: Black Stars cruising to the World Cup, but some people think Otto Addo is driving with “L” plates on.
Crime: Politics in Ghana vs WWE pay-per-view, no difference.
QUICK BYTE
So man like Adamu, 63, just bagged five years in jail. His crime? Pulling a fast one with a tricycle and 114 loaves of bread. Apparently, he pretended to be a station master, “helped” a baker with his faulty tricycle, then zoomed off with both the bread and the ride. Man later sold the tricycle for 700 cedis (bro, that thing cost 35k!) and shared the bread with strangers like he was doing communion. Police said, “bet,” and now he’s locked up. Get the full deets in the Deep Dive section.
You enter trotro, the driver is moving, the car is actually going, but every corner he takes, your heart skips. That’s Black Stars now. We dey win games, top of the group, but the way we dey play? Chale, e be like shaky table at a wedding. Osei Kyei-Mensah just no dey buy Otto Addo’s “accidental genius” coaching style. He literally said, “Yes, we’ll qualify, but this man? He can’t lead us at the World Cup.” To be fair, the Black Stars haven’t exactly been making us dance azonto in the living room lately. We scrape through games, sometimes looking like we’re stress-testing fans’ blood pressure instead of playing football. Yet we’re one win away from qualification. One win! Still, Osei doesn’t believe Addo one bit. Read more
Ghana’s National Service Authority (NSA) just got exposed for paying babies as service personnel. Over 1,000 kids under one year old are “serving the nation” from their cribs. Not to mention about 3,000 pensioners, some over 80, still cashing NSS money like they’re back on campus. The audit was so wild the government had to suspend the whole system. The Acting Director basically admitted the system was moving like a WhatsApp broadcast no checks, no logic, just vibes. Babies with no Ghana Card? Cool, add them. Pensioners who exited 40 years ago? Why not. If NSS was a nightclub, the bouncer would be letting in toddlers and grandpas like, “after all, we’re all here to chill.” Now, the NSA says postings will finally drop November 1st after they fix the mess. Read more
The cedi was once the star boy of currencies, chilling in June like the guy who hit the gym for three weeks and suddenly starts posting “no pain no gain” selfies. Bloomberg even crowned it the world’s best performer at one point. But chale, fast-forward to now and it’s like that same guy ate one bowl of waakye too many and can’t see his six-pack anymore. From GH¢12.90 last week to GH¢13.10 this week. Economists are out here explaining it calmly: “tight forex liquidity, corporate demand, limited BoG supply.” Here me when I say, the simple translation is: “more heat for your pocket.” Read more
FACT OF THE DAY
Digging a hole to China" is possible if you start in Argentina.
Remember AGOA? That sweet trade deal letting Ghana send goods to the US tariff-free? Yeah… it’s over. Trump said Africa’s been “chopping for free too long” and slapped a 15% tax. Mahama calls it “technically dead.” Basically, Ghanaian exports now dey pay gate fee before they even land in Yankee. Read more
Prez Mahama just asked the “explain like I’m five” question: if Tarkwa GoldFields built a whole international stadium for $13m, why does government spend hundreds of millions on the same thing? Like, are the seats doing back massage? Or the grass imported straight from Buckingham Palace? Man was like, “I saw the stadium and nearly checked if the bleachers were massage chairs.” Because how else do you explain government stadiums costing “hundreds of millions” when someone just did it for a fraction? Read more
NDC’s Alhaji Azorka allegedly squared up with NPP’s Alhaji Masawudu like it was grudge night at Bukom Arena. Police say Azorka was picked up in Tamale, cautioned, granted bail, and now he’s on a “see-you-in-court” appointment for September 16. Read more
DEEP DIVE
Breaking bread and the law at the same time
So what happened was… in February 2024, Oduro Zakaria, a baker was hustling in Kumasi, loading bread on his tricycle, only for the ride to break down. Then outta nowhere, a sweet-talking “station master”, Adamu showed up, flexing good samaritan vibes. They both pushed it to the Kejetia MTN roundabout, and Zakaria left the aboboyaa with Adamu to look for a mechanic.
Next thing, Adamu vanishes with both Zakaria’s tricycle and 114 loaves.
The funniest (and saddest) part? Adamu didn’t even sell the bread. He literally stood by road and distributed it like he was running a food outreach. Like, imagine being on your way home and some random uncle is like, “Ei, small bread for you.”
And the tricycle? My guy sold a 35k machine for just 700 cedis. SEVEN HUNDRED. That’s like selling an iPhone 15 Pro Max for the price of three kebab sticks and one Origin Zero. If you’re going to crime, at least negotiate better, uncle. Now he’s in court, guilty on his own plea, and the judge didn’t even blink, straight 5 years.
Moral of the story? Sometimes life will tempt you with bread and butter crimes but stay strong. Read more
NEWS SOURCES
Today’s stories are curated from: