Bruh, He’s Gone!

All it took was one open cell door and now Jah Boy’s MIA.

Author

Chale News
October 07, 2024

Strap in, squad! Your weekly adventure is officially starting! Whatever happens this week, remember, you’re the boss!

We’re starting off the week with these stories:

  • Crime: Local guy Yaw Tawiah, aka Jah Boy, pulls off his own Fast and Furious escape from Juaboso police.

  • National: Toxic chemicals from galamsey out here scrambling your eggs.

  • National: Locking up protesters? Joe Jackson says, 'we should be ashamed!

  • Politics: Ablakwa calls out NAPO for 'wild claims' about LGBTQ curriculum, demands receipts.

  • Fact of the Day: Ever heard of the “Jesus Nut”?

  • National: Bullgod says if Ghana’s health system is really that good, Nana Bediatuo should heal at home.

  • Business: Cocoa carriers say enough’s enough—starting today, no work till they get the pay and conditions they deserve!

  • Education: With flooded classrooms and no furniture, Yapalsi Primary students have become pros at sitting on the floor, but parents have reached their boiling point.

  • Business: Ghana's oil and gas sector is feeling the pinch as high taxes keep profits low and ambitions on the back burner.

  • Politics: Offline or nah? EC still thinking about offline provisional Voters’ Register exhibition!

QUICK BYTE

  • Jah Boy, aka Yaw Tawiah, decided that police cells weren’t really his vibe and pulled a Houdini on October 3rd. The guy just dipped, leaving the officers at the Sefwi Boinzan Police Station with their jaws on the floor. Like, one minute the officer is handing him water to flush the loo, the next minute, Jah Boy’s already gone into the bush like he’s auditioning for a wildlife documentary. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • Okudzeto Ablakwa is not here for the drama. The North Tongu MP is daring Dr. Matthew Opoku Prempeh (NAPO) to back up his claims about Ablakwa pushing an LGBTQ-friendly curriculum. Ablakwa is basically like, “If you have receipts, show them or keep it moving.” The beef popped off after NAPO, during a campaign rally, accused Ablakwa of developing a pro-LGBTQ curriculum when he was in office. But Ablakwa isn’t having any of it, calling the claims “desperate lies”. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below

  • So, Bullgod just dropped some serious tea on UTV’s United Showbiz, and we’re all sipping. He’s basically telling President Akufo-Addo, “If you built all these fancy Agenda 111 hospitals, why’s your boy Nana Bediatuo Asante still in the U.S. for treatment?” Like, bro, if these hospitals are good enough for the rest of us, let’s see the high-profile peeps using them too. Read more in the Deep Dive Section.

  • Okay, so we all know galamsey is bad for the environment, right? But did you know it’s also out here messing with people’s fertility like a corrupt file in your system? According to the Fertility Society of Ghana, those toxic chemicals used in illegal mining—hello mercury and cyanide—are not only ruining water bodies but also playing ping-pong with your DNA. Dr. Adageba, the boss of FERSOG, is calling for stricter rules because, y’all, we’re not about to let future babies come out with glitchy DNA, thanks to galamsey. Read more

  • Joe Jackson, the guy who is running things at Dalex Finance, is not here for the drama of locking up people who were just trying to save Ghana from galamsey. Yep, he’s calling us out—police, judiciary, all of us—for detaining 53 folks from Democracy Hub who were protesting illegal mining. According to him, Ghana’s flag stands for freedom and justice, but those protesters aren’t getting either.

    Joe is basically saying, “How are we supposed to call ourselves a democracy when we throw people behind bars for standing up for what’s right?” He thinks we should all be feeling super guilty for letting this slide. Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

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Technically called the “mast nut”, the “Jesus nut is the one thing keeping a helicopter’s rotor blades in check. If this bad boy pops off mid-flight, you're left with one option — pray to Jesus!

  • The Cocoa Carriers Association has officially gone on strike today, and it’s no joke. These guys, based in Tema, Takoradi, and Kumasi, have straight-up said they’re not budging until the Cocoa Marketing Company (COCOBOD) sorts out their working conditions. They’ve done this before in 2022, and it caused a whole lot of chaos with cocoa bags piling up in warehouses. Now, National Chairman Raymond Atanga Abobiga is back at it, telling his squad to show up to work… but not to actually work. It’s “sit at the gate and chill” vibes until their demands are met. Read more

  • Yapalsi Primary School is quickly becoming a parent’s worst nightmare. Their kids come home every day covered in dirt because, instead of sitting at a desk, they’ve spent hours on the floor of a flooded classroom. Their kids have been dealing with these conditions for nearly a year, and it all started when a rainstorm last year decided to steal the roof of the upper primary classrooms. Since then? Nada. No repairs, no fixes. To make matters worse, the kindergarten kids had to be moved to the wrecked classrooms, leaving the older students crammed into the kindergarten block. It’s a mess. And when it rains—surprise!—the classrooms flood. Even the Municipal Chief Executive admits things are bad but says the assembly is too broke to fix it. Read more

  • So, a Prisons officer, Lance Corporal Gideon Adu Boakye, was just trying to vibe with his fam during a visit to Kasoa when, bam! He got caught in a chaotic mob situation that turned lethal. Instead of hugs and high-fives, this officer got the raw end of the deal when some unknown assailants decided they were the judge, jury, and executioner. Now, six people are in hot water—four ladies and two gents are facing some serious consequences after being remanded for this madness. Read more

  • Let’s talk about the state of Ghana's petroleum industry—because it’s not looking pretty. According to Deloitte's latest survey, a whopping 46% of industry players are waving red flags over high tax rates. Yeah, that’s right! These taxes are not just a drain on profits; they’re practically putting the brakes on growth and competition. It’s like trying to run a marathon with your shoelaces tied together—good luck getting anywhere! With these kinds of hurdles, the oil and gas sector is starting to look more like a pothole-ridden road than a smooth highway. Read more

  • So, the Electoral Commission (EC) is still deciding whether they should do an offline exhibition of the Provisional Voters’ Register or just stick to the online version. Yup, they haven’t hit the ‘confirm’ button yet! After last week’s Inter-Party Advisory Committee meeting, the EC made waves by announcing plans to display the register online to prepare for the December 7 elections. Cool, right? Well, not if you’re in a rural area with no internet, and that's why people are calling for an offline option as well. The EC’s management hasn’t decided yet, so we’re all waiting for them to drop the final word. In the meantime, you can still check your voter details for free by dialing *711*51# when the online exhibition starts. Read more

DEEP DIVE

Ablakwa Claps Back

So, NAPO’s out here stirring the pot, claiming that when Ablakwa was part of the NDC, he developed a curriculum that pushed LGBTQ content into schools. According to NAPO, not only did Ablakwa create this so-called curriculum, but he also rolled with pastors and imams across the country to push the agenda. But Ablakwa isn’t sitting back and taking this one—he's daring NAPO to show some proof or quit talking.

Ablakwa clapped back in his signature fiery style, saying NAPO’s claims are nothing but "desperate concoctions and outright falsehoods." He’s convinced that these wild allegations are just a cheap attempt to give life to the struggling Bawumia-NAPO campaign. Ablakwa even took it a step further, asking his supporters to say a prayer for NAPO because, according to him, the guy clearly needs help. Cold.

Let’s rewind a bit to where all this started: Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE). This was designed to teach students about all things cognitive, emotional, and physical related to sexuality. But obviously, in a country where cultural and religious values run deep, not everyone’s vibing with it. The minute the word “sexuality” pops up, people start thinking, “Are we teaching kids this too soon?” And here’s where NAPO’s claims get messy—he's alleging that Ablakwa’s the mastermind behind introducing topics that might be, let’s just say, too progressive for Ghanaian classrooms.

Ablakwa’s basically saying, “Enough with the fake news. Show us the curriculum, show us the pastors and imams, or just stop.” If this keeps up, it’s about to be a spicy showdown in the political world. Popcorn, anyone? Read more

Jah Boy Did the Dash

It’s a regular Thursday at Sefwi Boinzan Police Station, and Yaw Tawiah, aka Jah Boy (side note: can we just appreciate that street name?), is locked up for robbery and illegal possession of a firearm. So, Constable Alice Owusu Agyemang, being all nice and responsible, opens the cell door to hand out some water—‘cause even bad boys gotta hydrate, right? But Jah Boy? Nah. He saw an opportunity and said, “Deuces!” and just sprinted out faster than a Snapchat story disappearing after 24 hours.

And while Constable Alice was probably standing there like, “Did that really just happen?” Jah Boy was already halfway through the bushes, channeling his inner Usain Bolt. By the time backup arrived, the dude was long gone, pulling his best impression of that one friend who always disappears at the club without saying goodbye. You know the type.

Now the Juaboso police are in full-on panic mode. Patrol units and search parties are scrambling like it's the final level of Call of Duty, but so far, Jah Boy’s managed to keep his hide-and-seek streak undefeated. He’s out there somewhere, probably lying low and living his best Catch Me If You Can life while the police are sweating bullets.

Local informants have now been tapped to help track him down, and the whole town’s on the lookout. The police are still on this wild goose chase, and until they find Jah Boy, we’re all just left wondering where he’ll pop up next. Jah Boy, if you’re reading this... bruh, slow down. Read more

“If Our Hospitals Are Lit, Why's Bediatuo Still in the U.S.?"

Bullgod came in swinging, and honestly, he’s got a point. On United Showbiz, he threw a jab that hit harder than most of us expected. He’s basically calling out the government, like, “Yo, if Nana Bediatuo Asante, the President’s secretary, is stable, why’s he chilling in the U.S. for treatment?” According to Bullgod, this is the perfect time to walk the talk on that Agenda 111 project and show Ghanaians that we don’t need to fly out for every flu and fever.

And let’s be real for a second: if the guy responsible for signing papers on behalf of the President can’t trust our local hospitals, what does that say about the rest of us? Bullgod even suggested top hospitals like Korle-Bu or 37 Military as options. But nah, they still chose to jet-set Bediatuo out like Ghanaian hospitals are some backup plan. Kinda makes you go, "Hmm, are we really that confident in our healthcare?"

Bullgod didn’t mince words either—he made it clear that this whole habit of flying government officials abroad for medical treatment is kinda shady. Like, “Yo, if these hospitals are supposed to be world-class, why are we paying extra for healthcare elsewhere?” He threw shade with that calm-but-spicy energy we all love.

His main point was crystal clear: bring Bediatuo home. Let him be treated right here in the country and prove that all this money spent on health infrastructure isn’t just for show. Let’s see if President Akufo-Addo takes the hint or if Bediatuo’s going to finish his vacay... we mean, treatment, abroad. Either way, Bullgod just pulled off a major mic drop moment. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: