Do Not Try This at Home

Constitution says she’s free to sit again, but socially? Eish.

Author

Chale News
September 22, 2025

So, what’s in the bag today?

  • National: Accra had a vigil, chased politicians away, and begged the gov to stop turning our rivers into Milo.

  • National: CJ Torkonoo trying to return to the Supreme Court is giving ex who wants to move back in after the breakup. Technically possible, but vibes? 🚩🚩🚩

  • National: Instead of only sending career diplomats to negotiate trade deals, why not send someone with an actual fanbase?

  • Agriculture: Farmers dey cry, smugglers dey chop, and your future waakye just got put on life support.

  • National: Another batch loading… 40 more deportees touching down Government defends decision as humanitarian, not transactional.

  • Fact of the Day: Can you believe this? A round 8% of the world population has an extra rib.

  • Crime: A pharmacy on wheels seized in Nalerigu. Their only stock was 1,195 boxes of Tramadol.

  • National: Final curtain call: Dr. Mohammed ben Abdallah bows out.

QUICK BYTE

  • #FixTheCountry crew really pulled up to Revolution Square to cry over rivers that now look like Milo. They lit candles, sang, and gave the government side-eye strong enough to power ECG for a week. But then, as vibes were vibing, NDC’s Mustapha Gbande decided to show up uninvited and address them. The chants were loud, “Away! Away!” Man got ushered out like a bouncer was on duty. One guy even went full savage mode: “Stop chasing small boys in pits and go after the big men in Prof. Frimpong-Boateng’s report. The sad bit? Youth turnout was actually low. Some protesters had to beg the youth like, “guys, no water = no waakye, no ice kenkey, no mortuary standard beer.” But it seems TikTok dances are winning over activism. Read more

  • So, former Chief Justice Gertrude Torkonoo is out here fighting for her spot back at the Supreme Court after being booted as CJ. And legally, she can come back. The Constitution says so. But Prof. Appiagyei-Atua is like, “Sis, let’s be real. You can’t just slide back into the group chat like nothing happened.” Because imagine pulling up to the same bench where the same judges voted against you. That’s like showing up at brunch with your old squad after they kicked you out of the WhatsApp group. Awkward silence, side-eyes, fake smiles. The law may allow it, but the vibe check? It’s a fail. Get the full deets in the Deep Dive section.

  • Can you imagine planting maize the whole year, sweating like you’re in P.E. class, only to watch smuggled maize from who-knows-where pop up in the market at “buy one get two” prices. That’s Ghana’s farmers right now drowning in debt while their warehouses still full from last season. Like, the food is there o, but nobody dey buy. Meanwhile, smugglers and corrupt border bros are balling like it’s Detty December. Untaxed grains just cruising through like VIPs. The Chamber of Agribusiness is basically begging government like, “Please, make border control tighter, guarantee minimum prices, and force big institutions like School Feeding, Armed Forces, and Prisons Service to buy local. Because honestly, if prison food is already mid, at least let it be Ghana rice mid. Read more

  • So the Foreign Minister just played Oprah with passports, “You get a diplomatic passport, you get a diplomatic passport!” Five Ghanaian icons, Wode Maya, Rocky Dawuni, Anita Erskine, Ibrahim Mahama and Dentaa now get to travel like they’re on cheat codes. No more long immigration lines, just vibes and VIP lanes. The whole idea is to use their fame to market Ghana to the world. Basically, our new ambassadors aren’t in suits, they’re in vlogs, art galleries, music stages and prime-time shows. Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

❝

Each adult has 206 bones, 24 of which are ribs (12 on each side), but approximately one out of every 200 people have an extra rib. This rib is referred to as the cervical rib.

  • So, Ablakwa just dropped a spoiler alert: Ghana is about to receive 40 more deportees from the US. Yep, after the first 14 touched down, Minority MPs were already huffing like, “Who signed this collab without Parliament?” But Ablakwa says chill, it’s covered under an MoU, no extra signatures needed. He swears it’s not about pleasing Uncle Sam. According to him, Ghana is doing this for “humanitarian” vibes. Translation? We saw our people being treated rough abroad, so we’re opening the door and saying, “Come home, chale.” No dollar incentives, no handshake deals. Read more

  • You’re chilling at a lorry station, minding your business, when two big trucks roll up like they’re just bringing onions from Togo. But nah fam, inside was not tomatoes or yam, it was 1,195 boxes of Tramadol “Red”. Nalerigu Police said “not on our watch,” intercepted the trucks in Gbintiri, busted the six-man squad, and basically ruined somebody’s “Red Friday” sale. Imagine the disappointment of the main guy in Gushegu who was waiting when he heard that his goods have been offloaded at the police station. And the suspects? Let’s just say they were not giving Oscar-worthy performances in the interrogation room. Man’s was like, “Yes officer, it was me,” before they even offered him pure water. Loyalty clearly not their strong suit. Read more

  Final curtain call

  • Ghana just lost one of its OG storytellers, Dr. Mohammed ben Abdallah, a man whose pen was basically Wi-Fi before Wi-Fi, connecting Ghanaians to themselves through theatre. He passed on September 18th at age 81, and honestly, if life were a stage play, this was that painful scene where the main character exits but leaves the crowd standing to clap. From Wesley College to Legon, then across the Atlantic to grab his PhD, he basically collected theatre degrees like Pokémon cards. And when he came back? He helped build the actual National Theatre. The man wrote classics like The Slaves, Verdict of the Cobra, and The Trial of Mallam Ilya. He even did politics. Served as Secretary for Education and Culture under PNDC in the 80s and 90s. Read more

DEEP DIVE

Do not try this at home

So, Gertrude Torkonoo’s situation with the Supreme Court, eh… Constitution says she’s free to sit again, but socially? Eish.

Prof. Appiagyei-Atua didn’t mince words. He said yes, the law backs her, but the “toxic environment” will make it nearly impossible. And we all know “toxic environment” is just lawyer-speak for “your colleagues are still salty, and the vibes are off.”

Plus, this whole saga exposes how the Constitution left a loophole bigger than a pothole on the Tema motorway. You can sack someone as Chief Justice, but technically they can remain a Supreme Court judge. That’s like your boss at work being fired but still having to see her at the Monday morning staff meeting. Make it make sense.

So yeah, Torkonoo might have the right to fight her way back, but the practicality? It’s giving “don’t try this at home.” Unless she enjoys courtroom side-eyes and legal silent treatments, this comeback tour might be better left in the drafts. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

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