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So, what’s in the bag today?
Crime: When "hustling hard" goes too far: an Okada rider in Gomoa Afransi thought selling a human head was a business move.
Political: Akufo-Addo's loud moves drowned out Bawumia’s sweet campaign whispers, says Oforikrom MP.
National: Okudzeto Ablakwa is big mad about tax waivers for “cronies,” calling it fiscal wahala for the incoming government.
Political: When ballot boxes and fire meet, the drama levels hit Kumawood plot twist territory.
Regional: Bantama’s watermelon sellers are down.
Fact of the Day: What happens when you don't get the 'war is over' email?
Regional: Miners vs. Armed Intruders in Nyinahin-Kasotie. Things escalated quicker than your mum finding your exam results under your pillow.
QUICK BYTE
Ghanaian streets have seen a lot, but a dude casually pitching human heads as if it’s plantain chips is a new low. This dude, Augustine Ankomah, an Okada rider in his 30s, thought he could turn crime into commerce by pitching a human head to a Togolese woman. She wasn’t having it and quickly tipped off a local herbalist. The squad pulled up, ambushed him, and boom! The man came through with his ‘product.’ Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.
Apparently, the government is planning to dish out $350 million in tax waivers to 46 companies before they leave office. Samuel Okudzeto Ablakwa says, “Oh, so y’all are just handing out freebies while we’re here eating gari?” His beef? First, there’s no clarity on why these companies got picked. It's giving “my boys before everybody else” vibes. Second, President Akufo-Addo, in his first State of the Nation Address, literally said tax waivers were bad for the economy. The math isn’t mathing. Read more
Dr. Emmanuel Marfo, the MP for Oforikrom, says mixed signals might have cost the NPP breaking the 8. Take the LGBTQ+ issue, for example. Dr. Bawumia came out boldly, saying there’d be no room for it in his administration. But then, President Akufo-Addo had the chance to back it up by signing the anti-LGBTQ+ bill into law—and didn’t. Cue the confusion. Then there’s the infamous E-Levy. Bawumia, Mr. Digitalisation himself, said he’d cancel it if elected. But here comes Nana, signing the thing into law. Ghanaians side-eyed the NPP like, "Y’all sure you’re even on the same WhatsApp group?" Read more
So, a fire broke out at Kwashieman Cluster of Schools—the same place holding ballot boxes for Ablekuma North. Coincidence? Hmm. The police and fire service are investigating, promising to catch whoever was behind it. Meanwhile, people are asking all the big questions—Was it sabotage? A distraction? Or just plain negligence? Whatever the answer, one thing’s for sure: the drama isn’t dying down anytime soon. For now, we’re just here sipping our sobolo, waiting for the police to connect the dots. Read more
FACT OF THE DAY
WWII ended in 1945. But Japanese soldier, Hiroo Onoda didn't get the memo—he fought for 29 extra years.
So, Jessica Oforiwa, a caterer-turned-check-fraud-extraordinaire, just got sentenced to five years. Sis and her squad (who are conveniently MIA) swiped a cool GH₵81,060 from GCB Bank customers using cloned cheques. The court didn’t buy her first-time-offender card, though. They said her moves were too premeditated, like perfectly plating a scam soufflé. And while Jessica’s behind bars, her “boyfriend” and accomplices are out here living their best ghost lives. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.
It’s been a rough week for watermelon sellers at Bantama Racecourse Market in Kumasi. A fire on Monday night turned six stores, packed with fruits and personal belongings, into ashes. The estimated damage? Thousands of cedis. The Ghana National Fire Service pulled up in time to stop it from becoming the Bantama Bonfire Festival, but by the time the flames were out, it was all over. Traders like Akua Kobo (the fire ate her GH₵15,000 worth of watermelons and personal belongings) are now pleading for help to bounce back from this unexpected chaos. Read more
Miners minding their gold business in Nyinahin-Kasotie (Ashanti Region), when armed intruders storm in demanding their share like uninvited guests at a jollof party. What started as a “gimme gold” escalated into a full-blown Wakanda Forever battle, leaving one dead, six injured, and a few vehicles as roasted as kofi brokeman. Read more
DEEP DIVE
The Wildest Trade Deal Never Made
In the village of Kwame Adwen, Augustine Ankomah, who should’ve been focused on carrying passengers on his Okada, decided his real passion lay in... selling a human head. Who hurt you, bro? This isn’t “The Wolf of Gomoa Wall Street.”
So our man shows up at a Togolese woman’s house with the audacity of a TikToker pitching a weird skincare trend. He’s like, "Yo, I’ve got this premium human head for sale—interested?" The woman, clearly the MVP of this story, kept her cool and went straight to a herbalist. And trust a Ghanaian herbalist not to play: he rallied the village Avengers (a.k.a. some youth from the area), and they set a trap.
Ankomah, proving once again that criminals can be the most predictable people on earth, showed up with the head. Like, he actually delivered on his gruesome pitch. The youth wasted no time snatching him up like they were catching a thief at Kaneshie Market. They even identified the head as that of Kwame Fosu, who’d been missing for six days.
Now, Ankomah is cooling off in the Winneba Police Cells, awaiting his big court debut. Honestly, can you imagine the courtroom scene? “Your Honor, I was just trying to meet my quarterly sales target.” Boy, bye. Read more
From Chef to Check Fraud
Okay, let’s talk about Jessica Oforiwa—the woman who took "cooking up something" way too literally. Jessica wasn’t just out here flipping eggs; she was flipping customer accounts with her crew of Houdinis. Together, they made GH₵81,060 disappear faster than your December salary.
Here’s how it went down: Jessica’s account (Jesnat Cook Co.) got a cheque book. Instead of using it to cash honest payments, she and her team decided to play arts and crafts with chemicals, erasing customer details and signatures to make the cheques look legit.
The squad hit multiple branches like it was a bank-hopping tour, cashing out sums from GH₵4,700 to a jaw-dropping GH₵47,460. But, as every scammer knows, the streets (and bank tellers) are always watching. One day, their shady withdrawals hit the radar, leading to arrests. Imagine Jessica casually blaming her boyfriend during interrogation—classic “it’s not me, it’s him” energy.
Now, Jessica’s sitting in Nsawam, her accomplices are AWOL, and her boyfriend? Only God knows. Meanwhile, the judge is out here dragging banks, saying, “Y’all need to upgrade your ICT security and stop handing out cash like it’s free sobolo.” Fair point, Your Honor. Read more
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