Forget blue balls...

Do you know of yellow balls?

Author

Chale News
September 26, 2024

It’s Thursday morning, and you know what that means—time to spill the tea! We’ve got some juicy updates and one hilarious fact to spice up your day.

Let’s begin:

  • Politics: Dr. Appiahene’s trying to convince us he was in Sunyani, not Accra, when the NPP allegedly finessed the top spot with a “magic” yellow ball.

  • National: Mortuary workers set to go ghost mode: No PPE, no pay, no work!

  • Sports: Derek Boateng’s not holding back—he’s calling out the GFA for caring more about cash than fixing the mess that is Baba Yara’s pitch.

  • Politics: Nana Kwame Bediako, aka Cheddar, believes the Democracy Hub protests are less about galamsey and more about political agendas ahead of elections.

  • Fact of the Day: We’ve got a brain buster workout for you!

  • National: The gas shortage is here, and if it doesn’t get sorted soon, your weekend might be less 'lit' and more takeout.

  • Politics: Edubiasehene says it’s free SHS for his kids or nothing!

  • National: Dumsor’s back like an unwanted ex, and the Minority says it’s all because of some shady, cash-hungry contracts.

  • Health: Are we about to start importing H2O for medicine?

QUICK BYTE

  • Apparently, Captain Smart thinks Dr. Appiahene’s a ballot paper magician. He accused the EC member of helping the NPP secure the top spot with a yellow ball trick. But Dr. Appiahene clapped back, saying he wasn’t even in Accra—he was in Sunyani, teaching at UENR. In response, he’s asking for receipts from Captain Smart to back up these wild claims. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below

  • Imagine working in a horror movie every day, without the proper gear, no paycheck, and broken promises on repeat. That’s been the life of Ghana’s mortuary workers, and now they’ve had enough. The nationwide strike starts today—no PPE, no salaries since 2020, and nada on their promised COVID-19 bonuses. Richard Jordan, the head of MOWAG, has spoken: "We’re not waiting until November." The Ministry of Health better fix up quick because things are about to get really quiet at the mortuaries. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • So, former Black Star Derek Boateng is fuming, and honestly, can we blame him? We’ve got players flying in from Europe, probably used to playing on fields so smooth, they could be red carpets. Then boom, they land in Ghana, and the next thing you know, they’re running around in what Derek calls a “sh**t pit.” Like, is this football or a mud race? Now, Ghana might have to play their next match in Togo. Wild, right? Read more in the Deep Dive Section.

  • Cheddar’s calling the Democracy Hub protests out—hard. According to him, this isn’t about galamsey, it’s about politics. He’s challenging the protesters’ real motives, pointing out that most weren’t even in the galamsey fight before this. He’s basically saying, “Don’t get played for votes.” For him, the protests lack the real voices needed—like mining experts—making it feel more like a political chess game than actual activism. His advice? Stay woke, team up, and focus on long-term solutions. Read more

  • Yo, if you’ve noticed the gas situation looking bleak, you’re not imagining it—LPG is running low, and stations are emptying out faster than your hopes after a “We need to talk” text. The LPG Marketers Association says we could be in for a gas-free weekend if supplies don’t improve ASAP.

    TOR claims they’re working on it, but it’s giving “We’re on it” vibes without the receipts. Hold tight and let’s hope for a lit weekend, literally! Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

❝

Forget the treadmill! Banging your head against a wall for an hour can burn 150 calories. Who knew fitness could be this… painful? 😅 So, are you signing up for this unique workout?

  • Fam, Edubiasehene, Oguahyia Oduro Panin Birikoran really pulled out the "I’m thinking about my kids" card when it comes to elections, and can you blame him? He’s got five kids, and three of them are already living their best free SHS life, but the other two are just standing there like, "So... what about us?" He wants the Free SHS to keep going strong, and he’s all-in on the NPP to make sure it sticks around. He straight-up said the policy is one of the main reasons the NPP should stay in power—he's not here for any leader who doesn’t vibe with free SHS. Looks like Edubiase is turning into a free SHS fan club, and if it’s up to Edubiasehene, his remaining kids are getting their slice of that education pie too. Read more

  • Dumsor, dumsor, dumsor —yep, the blackouts that Ghanaians thought we’d broken up with are sliding back into the DMs, and the Minority in Parliament is throwing shade—hard. According to the squad led by John Jinapor, it’s because of some sketchy contracts between the government and Ghana Gas Company. Tullow Ghana, the gas supplier, has been ghosted for the last nine months—no payments at all. Now, Tullow’s threatening to turn off the gas taps like, "If y’all can’t pay, we can’t play." And it’s not just them. The Independent Power Producers (IPPs) are also fed up, sending a "Pay Up or We’re Out" letter to the Ministry of Finance over a cool $1.2 billion in unpaid debt. Oh, and the Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG) is also swimming in debt—GHS 10 billion worth. Read more

  • The Pharmaceutical Society of Ghana (PSG) is sounding the alarm bells, saying that if we don’t get our act together about illegal mining, we might soon be importing water just to make our local medicines. Like, how did we get here?

    Dr. Samuel Kow Donkoh, the big boss at PSG, pointed out that now treating our water is costing more than a designer outfit during sales. And though our local producers are already killing it when it comes to making infusions, all that success is threatened if we can’t get clean water. Read more

DEEP DIVE

Ballot Blues

Apparently, there’s some wild rumor floating around that Dr. Peter Appiahene, a member of the Electoral Commission, magically helped the NPP score the first spot on the 2024 ballot. Like, seriously? Captain Smart claimed that Dr. Appiahene was at the EC office handing out a special yellow ball to hook the NPP up.

But Appiahene wasn’t having it. Man came out swinging, like, “Guys, I wasn’t even in Accra. I was in Sunyani doing my lecturing thing at UENR (University of Energy and Natural Resources). I don’t have time for this kind of drama!” He even challenged Captain Smart to pull up receipts because he’s got mad evidence that he was chilling in Sunyani with his students the whole time. You know it’s serious when someone’s calling for proof like a courtroom TV drama.

So, here we are. On one side, there’s Captain Smart, playing conspiracy theorist like it’s the new season of “Scandal,” and on the other, Dr. Appiahene’s pulling an alibi so tight even Sherlock would be proud. I mean, who wouldn’t pick Sunyani over a sweaty ballot room in Accra, right? Plus, the guy says he hasn’t even been to the EC office in months. If that’s true, Captain Smart might need to update his sources…or his imagination.

Well, whether you believe him or not, one thing’s for sure—this ballot drama isn’t over yet, and it’s already more entertaining than prime-time TV. Read more

The mortuary workers have officially entered ghost mode

You’d think the Ministry of Health would get it by now, right? Like, it’s not exactly rocket science to know mortuary workers need some PPE. But nope, apparently, that's a lesson still on their to-do list. Richard Kofi Jordan, the General Secretary of MOWAG, is tired of playing nice. He’s like, "We’ve been polite, we’ve talked, and now we’re done waiting. Ya’ll need to stop ghosting us." I mean, how are you going to promise bonuses and then pretend mortuary workers aren’t frontline heroes? It’s giving serious ‘forgotten at the group dinner’ vibes.

And don’t even get started on those unpaid salary arrears. Since 2020, people! That’s three years of stacking IOUs, and guess what? Mortuary workers can’t pay rent with “good vibes and patience.” They’ve been hustling hard, dealing with things that would make even your bravest squad member think twice, and for what? The ministry is like that friend who keeps saying, “I’ll pay you back next month.” But newsflash—it’s been 36 months.

Now, the government’s trying to pull another “give us until November,” but Richard Jordan isn’t having it. Dude’s basically channeling the energy of a fed-up customer service agent who’s heard every excuse in the book. November? Nah, this strike starts now. No more talk, no more promises. Mortuary workers across Ghana are officially on break—and let’s hope the Ministry of Health can catch up before this thing goes fully south. Read more

GFA’s Money Chase Over Football Grounds

Derek didn’t mince his words when he called out the Ghana Football Association (GFA). According to him, the GFA only cares about the coins and not the actual football. “We’ve got players coming from Europe to play in this mess? And we expect to win games? Nah, bro.” Basically, he’s saying, if the GFA doesn’t get its act together and fix these pitches, the only thing we’ll be winning is a trip to Togo.

CAF wasn’t playing around either—they literally banned the Baba Yara Sports Stadium because the pitch looked like it hadn’t seen a decent maintenance crew in years. CAF didn’t just slap us with a warning; they pretty much said, “Fix this mess or find somewhere else to play.” Ghana’s now looking at possibly playing in Togo, Nigeria, or Ivory Coast. Yeah, you read that right. It’s giving “neighbor borrow pass.”

Meanwhile, the Sports Ministry is out here throwing shade, telling the National Sports Authority (NSA) to handle their business and fix the pitch. But the real tea? The NSA’s renting out the stadiums to make money, and shocker—their side hustle is backfiring. The more they rent out the pitches, the worse they get. It’s like trying to do Uber with a car that’s falling apart, and now we’re paying the price with banned pitches. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: