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So, what’s in the bag today?
Politics: Funeral turned into a near-political Royal Rumble, Ghana politics never misses an episode.”
Economic: When the cedi gains weight, GRA loses appetite, and now they’re coming for your side hustle.
Crime: Try robbing a MoMo vendor in Gomoa Dabenyin and you’ll meet Avengers in singlets.
National: BoG just turned airports into the new ‘Show Your Workings’ exam; carry dollars, declare dollars, no long talk.
Fact of the Day: Apparently, sugar has some healing properties.
Regional: “I no dey contest again.” Mahama sets himself free from election wahala
Crime: When the NSS boss posted himself as a “volunteer,” Ghana’s money turned into ghost allowance on steroids.
National: If you’re thinking of filling your tank, better go this weekend. Otherwise, from Monday, every time you pull up at the pump, it’ll feel like the attendant is speaking French.
QUICK BYTE
The cedi pulled the biggest comeback story of the year. From 15 to 10.5 to the dollar in three months? That’s not a recovery; that’s a glow up. Like your SHS crush that you ignored in Form 1 but now in uni she’s running influencer deals. Everybody’s clapping, prices easing, importers smiling small. But guess who’s not laughing? The Ghana Revenue Authority. Get the full deets in the Deep Dive section.
You go to a funeral to cry small, maybe sip some sobolo, drop your “sorry for your loss,” and bounce. But nah, Ghana politics said hold my beer. At Ernest Kumi’s one-week, the NDC delegation pulled up led by “General Mosquito” himself, Johnson Asiedu Nketia. And at first, vibes were good. People clapped, nodded, even smiled through their tears. But then, out of nowhere, some folks in the crowd switched it up like Netflix plot twists. Booing, jeering, even small attempts at WWE wrestling moves. Bro, how do you go from funeral hymns to Royal Rumble that fast? Luckily, no one threw chairs; we’re saving that for the by-election maybe. Read more
Bank of Ghana woke up this week and basically said, “We see you forex ballers. If you’re moving like a low-budget Pablo Escobar at the airport, better fill the form.” They’ve dropped a fresh rulebook: no carrying more than $10,000 on the low. If you’re rolling with more than that, declare it on their official “FX-5” form. Because according to BoG, if you play hide-and-seek with the dollars, they’ll snatch it quicker than your ex replying, “hey stranger.” And don’t think it’s just outbound wahala. Even inbound travellers must declare if they’re carrying above $10,000. So if you’re that uncle flying in from Toronto with $15k tucked in socks, better come with receipts or risk explaining yourself in Twi-English remix at customs. Read more
It’s a regular Tuesday night, vendors minding their business, and two guys pull up pretending to be customers. Smooth entry, right? Next thing, one snatches the bag full of cash and phones like it’s Black Friday, while the other starts firing live bullets like an action movie. Enter stage left: retired police uncle. My guy didn’t even wait for back-up, he just went full Terminator and sprinted after them while gunshots were still flying. The villagers joined in like Avengers assembling in slippers and singlets. Long story short, they caught one robber and gave him a “trial version” of community justice before handing him over to the police. Read more
FACT OF THE DAY
Putting sugar on a cut will make it heal faster.
So President Mahama went all the way to Singapore, chopped some chilli crab, and then casually dropped a bombshell: “Guys, I’m not running in 2028, so relax. No election slay, no reckless spending.” Basically, man said since he’s not chasing votes again, he won’t be borrowing left and right just to make Ghanaians feel sweet before elections. And honestly, that’s like your dad telling you, “I’m done having kids, so now I can actually save money for the ones I already have.” He’s promising fiscal discipline like a diet plan in January. Opposition thinks he’s bluffing, but he insists he’s done. Read more
The former Director-General of the National Service Authority, Osei Assibey Antwi, was running the whole show and somehow managed to “post” himself as a volunteer at the same time. Yes oo, man was both principal and student in the same classroom. And guess what? For this volunteer hustle, Uncle Assibey allegedly bagged GH¢516k every single month for 16 months. That’s GH¢8.2 million total. Man was chopping volunteer money like he was Thanos collecting infinity stones. Read more
Chale, from September 1, buying petrol go feel like buying Gucci cologne. The Chamber of Oil Marketing Companies (COMAC) just dropped their outlook report and the vibes are not vibing. Petrol dey climb by around 3.8–5.4%, which means one litre could now hit GHS 13.67. Diesel too no dey slack. It’s projected to hit GHS 14.35 per litre. Even LPG, your humble “gas for the stew,” dey join the gang with a 4.5% bump. But the thing is, international oil prices actually went down. Yeah, crude is chilling, diesel is cheaper abroad, LPG sef reduced but because the cedi has been catching stray bullets against the dollar. On top of that, there’s been wahala with supply. Some OMCs couldn’t stock enough petrol this month, so they already started hiking prices when they weren’t even supposed to. And then remember that fresh GH¢1 levy on fuel? Yeah, that one is happily chilling in the mix too, pushing the numbers higher. Read more
DEEP DIVE
When the Cedi Glows Up, GRA Glows Down
Cedi slimmed down, and in the process, slimmed down GRA’s pocket too.
Yep, the cedi’s flex cost them about 30% of their revenue. Great for your pocket, but the taxman? He’s in tears. The GRA boss, Anthony Kwasi Sarpong, basically said: “yeah, it’s good news for the economy, but for us at the ports, our cash just slim-fitted.” Duties are priced in dollars, so when the rate dropped, the cedi bills shrank too.
But don’t worry, Sarpong came with optimism: “We’ll bounce back.” He’s banking on importers restocking. His logic? If dollars are cheaper, people will import more, and more imports mean more taxes. Simple maths.
Meanwhile, GRA is also cooking new tax plans. Something they’re calling “modified taxation” which is basically “everybody go pay something small, no excuses.” If your small chop bar makes 200k a year, they’ll take 3%. If your online thrift shop is booming, they’ll take their cut too. They’re even setting up tech to spy, sorry, monitor online sales, Bolt rides, Jiji transactions and more. Before you say “this is my side hustle, abeg,” just know GRA is future ready. Read more
When the NSS boss posted himself as a “volunteer…
Now, let’s put this in context. The regular NSS allowance is around GH¢715.57. With what Assibey was taking in one month, you could have paid allowances for 721 service personnel. Imagine a whole battalion of fresh graduates in their oversized office shirts being fed with just one man’s monthly “volunteer” salary. E be like one of those suya skewers where the meat plenty at one end and the rest of the stick is just dust and pepper.
And it gets spicier. Dude’s EZWICH card, the magic ATM card of destiny was actually found in his house during the investigation. Bro wasn’t even lowkey about it. It’s like hiding stolen chicken in your fridge and still inviting the police for lunch.
What kills me is the audacity. This whole thing happened under his watch when thousands of ghost names were haunting the system. But instead of fighting the ghosts, man decided to dress up as one. It’s giving Halloween special, but the mask was padded with GH¢8.2 million. Meanwhile, us regular folks are here doing momo transfers and calculating 50p shortfall. Read more
NEWS SOURCES
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