"Your Honour, that Goat is not my Type"

We’re halfway through the week. We hope it’s been a good ride so far. If it hasn’t, sending love and light, e go be!

Meanwhile, Pakistan’s parliament is also fighting their own battles. The drama started when their official committee wanted to check out meeting records from 2008, probably to catch up on the tea from back then. But honey, when they went to get those records, they found out the rats had been using them as their personal buffet. And not just a nibble here and there—these rats went full-on Thanksgiving feast on those papers. And from what they are saying, the rats are as fat as a ball of banku from Bush Canteen before maize prizes quadrupled.

In today’s stories, we’ve got:

• Crime: Somewhere in Accra, a goat-napping went wrong.

• National: Ghana fumbles legal bag and owes Trafigura a cool $134 million.

• Economic: Gov’t flirts with bringing back 15% VAT on electricity.

• Economic: COCOBOD ditches international loans after 32 years, going local for cocoa cash.

• Education: CETAG says "Nah" to after-hours grind, ‘We clock out when we clock out.’

• Fact of the Day: There’s a diamond chilling in your kitchen right now—well, kinda.

• Banking: ADB says bye-bye to Abena Osei-Asare: She's off to bigger bank stuff!

• Sports: Women’s Super Cup is back with eight top teams battling it out for glory.

• National: Volta roads get some of that new DRIP

• Crime: Two guys tried their luck as tech bandits, now they're on a payment plan—courtesy of a GH¢200,000 bail.

QUICK BYTE

• Accra Circuit Court turned into a whole soap opera when Emmanuel “Obama” Agyei, a fisherman, and his partner in goat-napping, David Agyei, a borehole driller, confessed to pinching some goats from Teshie Camp Two. But they swore they only stole the good ol’ African breeds, not the fancy-schmancy German goats that the police are talking about, worth a cool $13,500. Emmanuel had the court in stitches, saying, “Boss, I’m telling you, the goat I took isn’t the one in those police pics.” David echoed the same vibes. But the court wasn’t having it and convicted the duo until September 2.

  Meanwhile, their third partner-in-crime, Baba Musah, is denying any wrongdoings, but he’s been remanded until further notice. Oh, and by the way, their other buddies, Nat, Aapah, and Boola Gee, are still on the run. Read more

• Ghana’s legal team pulled the ultimate “we’ll deal with it later” move, only to find themselves in deeper water than the ocean. They were hit with a $134 million judgment from the UK, thanks to an energy deal gone south with Trafigura’s GPGC. Instead of handling their business on time, Ghana missed not one but two deadlines to appeal. Now, a U.S. court just told them, “You snooze, you lose,” and slapped them with another $111 million bill, plus interest. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

• After three decades of relying on international loans to fuel Ghana’s cocoa industry, COCOBOD has decided to keep it local. Starting this season, which kicks off a month early on September 1, the cocoa giant is funding its operations right here in Ghana. No more flying across the world begging for cash. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below

• So, CETAG is back from their two-month strike, but don’t think they’re about to pull some crazy all-nighters to make up for lost time. After finally hashing things out with the government, they’re open to talking about making up for the missed lessons, but working beyond the normal hours? Yeah, that's a hard pass. “We’re not about that life,” said CETAG’s president, Prince Obeng-Himah, making it crystal clear that they’re sticking to their regular hours. No more, no less. Read more in the Deep Dive Section.

• Just when you thought the coast was clear, the government is considering bringing back that 15% VAT on electricity. Yep, you read that right. Thanks to the IMF's nudge and inflation chilling out a bit, the powers-that-be are mulling over reintroducing the tax that had everyone up in arms earlier this year. Remember those protests? Well, with inflation cooling down to 20.9%, the government might think it's a good time to slip that VAT back in. Read more

• Abena Osei-Asare is out as a non-executive director at ADB after six years of steering the ship. She’s gotta jet because of her shiny new gigs with the Bank of Ghana and the Financial Stability Council. ADB’s Board Chairman is all about those gratitude vibes, issuing a statement to wish her well. Read more

• Get your jerseys ready because the Women’s Super Cup is making a grand return to the Ghanaman Soccer Center of Excellence from September 21-29! This year, eight fierce teams are set to light up the field, including Ampem Darkoa Ladies, Northern Ladies, and Dreamz Ladies. Army Ladies, the reigning champs who snagged the title last year, won’t be defending their crown this time around. They didn’t make the top four in the Southern Zone. Read more

• Volta Region’s about to get a serious road upgrade, and it's all thanks to the new DRIP program. Apparently, 90 key roads are getting a facelift -Dr. Letsa spilled the tea at Ho Jubilee Park, saying each district's got five roads on the priority list. So, whether you’re in the North, Central, or South, you’re getting some of that smooth road love. Read more

• Two guys just got slapped with a GH¢200,000 bail each for pulling off a major heist at Lilian Kumah’s place. If you didn’t know, Lilian is the widow of John Kumah, who was once the Deputy Minister of Finance. The first guy, Adams Sanogo, who’s a trader, apparently teamed up with his buddy, Kwame Dunga (who’s still on the run), and they swiped a whole bunch of stuff, including a cool US$50,000, an iPhone 15 Pro Max, and some other gadgets. They even snagged her Apple Watch. The second guy, Rabiu Falilu, is an SHS leaver who got caught with the stolen iPhone. Now they’ve both got to come up with two sureties and one of them has to be a civil servant making at least GH¢3,000 a month. Their next court date on September 3rd. Read more

DEEP DIVE

Ghana Tries to Ghost $134M Bill, Gets Called Out by US Court

So back in 2018, Ghana decided to pull the plug on a power purchase deal with Trafigura’s GPGC. Fast forward to 2021, a UK tribunal was like, “Not so fast,” and slapped Ghana with a $134 million judgment for breaking the contract. No big deal, right? Just pay up or appeal. Well, Ghana’s legal team decided to hit the snooze button. Twice.

First, they got an extension to challenge the ruling in the UK. Easy win, right? Wrong. They missed that deadline, too. So, what do you do when you’re in a mess? Head to the U.S. courts, of course! But instead of finding a get-out-of-jail-free card, they got roasted. The U.S. judge basically said, “Nice try, but your excuse is weaker than instant coffee.” And just like that, the original debt ballooned into a $111 million-plus-interest headache.

Ghana’s appeal was so flimsy that the UK court basically laughed it out of the room, calling it “intrinsically weak.” It’s like showing up to a job interview in pajamas and wondering why you didn’t get the gig. But instead of regrouping and coming up with a solid plan, Ghana just kept digging that hole deeper, leading to this epic fail in the U.S. courts.

At the end of the day, Ghana’s left holding the bag — and it’s a very expensive one. Read more

PS: Those of us who have been procrastinating, remember this story next time you snooze the alarm, wai.

COCOBOD Goes Local: No More Borrowing Abroad for Ghana's Cocoa Cash!

After 32 years of relying on big foreign bucks to keep our beloved cocoa industry thriving, COCOBOD is breaking free. No more hopping on planes to secure billion-dollar loans from international lenders who were starting to get a bit skittish about Ghana’s credit rating. This year, the game plan has changed. COCOBOD is turning to the local scene for funding, and they’re starting early—like, a whole month earlier than usual on September 1.

The Chief Executive of COCOBOD, Joseph Boahen Aidoo, dropped the news. The shift away from external borrowing means that the days of rolling in at least $1 billion annually to buy cocoa beans and keep the sector afloat are gone. This is a massive pivot, especially after last year when COCOBOD only managed to scrape together $600 million from international lenders—less than what they needed.

This switch to domestic funding isn't just a money move; it's a statement. But here’s where it gets tricky: the Bank of Ghana is used to getting that fat lump sum of foreign currency every year, which helps stabilize our cedi against the dollar. Without it, they’ll have to wait for the dollars to trickle in from cocoa sales, and that could spell a whole new kind of pressure on our economy.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get more dramatic, cocoa production is expected to take a 20% hit this season. That’s right—bad weather, disease, and a fertilizer shortage are all conspiring to reduce the harvest target to 650,000 tons. The pressure is on, and everyone’s watching to see if COCOBOD’s new local-first strategy will be the lifeline the industry needs or just another hurdle in an already challenging season.

CETAG is all about work-life balance

CETAG just ended their two-month strike after the government finally decided to stop ghosting them and sort out the conditions of service. But before you think they’re about to go all superhero and work till 10 pm or start at 5 am to catch up, let’s set the record straight—ain't nobody got time for that.

Prince Obeng-Himah, the guy running the show at CETAG, is like, “We’ve done the whole late-night grind before, and honestly, it’s a no from us this time.” The man’s got a point—why burn the midnight oil when you can just, you know, not? He made it clear they’ll teach during normal hours, but that’s it. “We’re not playing ourselves like that again. It wasn’t even our fault we had to strike, so don’t expect us to go all out now just to clean up this mess.”

And get this, CETAG’s strike wasn’t some off-the-books rebellion; it was legit. No court injunctions, no shady business—just a bunch of teachers standing their ground. “This was the real deal. We did what we had to do, and now we’re back, but we’re not about to let anyone push us into overdrive. Our health and well-being come first,” Obeng-Himah added. So yeah, they’re back, but don’t expect them to go above and beyond—CETAG’s clocking in, but they’re also clocking out, right on time. Read more

CHECK OUT WHAT’S TRENDING

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• SSNIT pays GHs 447 million to pensioners

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from:

1. www.myjoyonline.com

2. www.ghanaweb.com

3. www.citinewsroom.com

4. www.norvanreports.com

5. www.channel1new.com