Is your lifestyle HR approved?

Eh, fine boy, you for dey gee!

Author

Chale News
October 25, 2024

This is the day we’ve been waiting for! Fantastic, dynamic Friday!

Let’s do this:

  • National: Dear bank staff, if your lifestyle’s giving “Gucci on a budget” vibes, you might just get a call from HR.

  • National: Northern Ghana: apparently the newest pit stop for jihadi “supplies”.

  • Crime: Just when you thought you've seen it all, you find a baby in a manhole.

  • National: Mortuary workers on the verge of ‘ghosting’ their jobs – a strike is coming!

  • Fact of the Day: If you spot a starfish, remember: it's all head, no body.

  • Health: Ada’s got a little too much flavor in the water supply, and cholera is calling the shots.

  • Feature: When life hands you lemons, make Kofi Brokeman.

  • Crime: Remember Fatau Motorway? Yeah, he’s now in police custody.

  • Economic: The IMF’s got us feeling some type of way with Ghana’s debt set to hit 83%, but with a little finesse, we could be back on track by 2029.

QUICK BYTE

  • John Awuah, CEO of the Ghana Association of Bankers, has some real talk for the bankers: live within your means, or get ready for an HR call. He thinks lifestyle audits are the ultimate fraud repellant, where banks watch for those lavish wedding parties or that “new car smell” that doesn’t quite add up. So if you’re splurging like a lotto winner on a banker’s salary, someone’s definitely taking notes. Read more

  • So, remember Fatau Motorway? Yeah, the guy who thought he could flex in a viral video with a firearm during the NPP-NDC clash in Mamobi? Well, the police have officially hit the brakes on his wild ride. He’s now chilling in custody, and let’s just say, he’s not exactly living his best life. Who knew political debates could turn into real-life action movies? Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • Northern Ghana’s going about its business, minding its own vibes, and suddenly, surprise! Burkina Faso’s jihadis are showing up for a casual supply run. They’re treating it like a fuel-up at your favourite fuel station—food, fuel, even, um, explosives (because, yeah, this isn’t your average road trip). According to sources, these militants are linked to al-Qaeda. Now, Ghanaian security and diplomats are raising eyebrows, like, “Hold up, why are you guys even here?” Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below

  • It’s a chill Wednesday evening in Tema Community 1, and boom—someone hears crying coming from, of all places, a manhole. Yup, like where rainwater and other things usually hang out. And surprise, surprise—the umbilical cord and placenta were still attached. No backstory, no note. After being rescued, this little bundle was rushed to Tema General Hospital, and, thankfully, they’re getting the care they need. But Assemblyman Charles Amos isn’t here for this new trend. He’s on a mission to remind people that if life’s throwing them curveballs, there are way better options than the drainage system. Like, a lot better. And here’s hoping people listen because, honestly, babies in manholes? We can’t make this a thing. Read more

  • Ghana’s mortuary workers, since 2019, have been begging the government to address issues like fair pay and safer conditions. But it seems like every time MOWAG reaches out, the government’s reply has been the ol’ “We’ll look into it,” which is Ghanaian for “Nah, we’re not dealing with this right now.” But this time, MOWAG isn’t having it. They’re saying if their demands aren’t met by November, they’ll officially “ghost” the mortuary. Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

❝

Starfish don’t have bodies. Yeah, they’re just vibin’ as head-only sea creatures!

  • Cholera’s out here doing the most in Ada, claiming two lives and putting 43 people in bad health. With both Ada East and West under the weather (literally and figuratively), health officials are in hustle mode, reminding everyone that handwashing and clean water are non-negotiables. Moral of the story? If it’s not purified, don’t drink it, fam. Read more

  • Fauzia Ali, fresh out of Serwaa Kesse Girls Senior High, is ready to take the medical world by storm. She nailed her WASSCE and secured a spot in the MBChB program at UDS. You’d think it’s all smooth sailing, right? Wrong! Life had other plans. Enter the villain: financial struggles. Her mom, Zainab Ali, a widowed plantain vendor, is doing her best to make ends meet, but that GH¢10,000 for medical school? Yeah, that’s a whole other level of stress. Instead of setting up for a life-saving career, Fauzia finds herself at her mom’s Kofi brokeman stand in New Zongo. Read more

  • The IMF has rolled up with a new forecast that could make even the toughest budgeter’s heart skip a beat: Ghana’s debt-to-GDP ratio is on track to reach a jaw-dropping 83% by the end of 2024. Yep, that’s a lot of zeros! This isn’t just some random number plucked out of thin air; it reflects the ongoing financial drama we’ve been facing, thanks to currency depreciation and those pesky inflationary pressures. It’s like trying to balance your bank account while your expenses are throwing a wild party—you just know things are about to get messy! Read more

DEEP DIVE

Fatau Motorway finally meets the Police.

Let’s talk about Fatau Motorway. Remember that crazy day in Mamobi? It was October 13, 2024, and tensions were higher than your favorite TikTok challenge. NPP and NDC supporters were out here acting like they were auditioning for “Real World: Accra Edition,” and just when you thought it was all fun and games, things escalated quickly. We’re talking chairs flying and tempers flaring.

Then enters our boy Fatau, waving a firearm like he’s on a music video set. I mean, who does that? It’s almost as if he thought, “Let me spice things up a bit!” Spoiler: that wasn’t the best idea. The internet picked up on his little stunt faster than a viral dance challenge, and before you know it, the police were like, “Uh, yeah, we’re gonna need you to come with us.” But what did Fatau do? Fatau ran away.

Fast forward, and now Fatawu is in police custody, probably wondering how he went from being the life of the party to a headline in the local news. “He’s currently in custody and will be put before the court in due course,” the police said. Read more

Secret Hangout for Sahel Jihadis?

Now, why Ghana, you ask? Our friendly neighbor Burkina Faso’s got some serious drama happening. With Burkina Faso losing over half of its territory to these guys, Ghana’s looking like that calm spot in the storm where these fighters can regroup, resupply, and even get medical check-ups. It’s like when someone comes to your house for “a quick snack” but ends up using your fridge, your Wi-Fi, and your emergency stash. Rude. Clingendael, the Netherlands Institute of International Relations, even thinks Ghana might have some silent, “you-don’t-attack-us, we-won’t-attack-you” understanding with these militants. But hey, when they’re raiding northern Ghana like it’s their personal store, that’s kind of unsettling.

Elections are coming up in December, and the last thing Ghana wants is these guys throwing off our democratic game. Security forces are on high alert, doing all they can to keep the vibes calm and the threats far away. We’re not out here trying to have any unscripted episodes. Nobody wants these guys messing with election season.

So, while Ghana’s working to protect that smooth election energy, it’s like we’re hosting the wildest house guest ever—only they’re not exactly here to party. Northern Ghana’s got that peaceful, laid-back rep, but let’s just say it’s been hijacked for some not-so-chill plans. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: