I wasn't born yesterday!

DJ, play "Grown Woman" by Beyoncé

Author

Chale News
October 05, 2025

So, what’s in the bag today?

  • Crime: Sis said, “verify before you vilify.”

  • National: Dr. Zanetor is basically saying what all of us yell at our TVs: why is it that a woman who steals plantain gets two years, but a politician who steals millions gets a front-row seat at a gala dinner?

  • Regional: AngloGold said “no more under trees,” and Obuasi kids said periodt!

  • National: Nana Addo basically said Ghana’s debt restructuring had him in his villain origin story arc: sleepless nights, sad music, and all.

  • National: The MCE said there’s no galamsey, JoyNews said “bet,” and pulled up with receipts.

  • Fact of the Day: There are companies you can pay to kidnap you.

  • Crime: Police nab robber, court sends him packing for 30 years.

  • National: Mahama basically said, “I’m ready to press the panic button, just waiting for Security Council to say ‘go’.”

QUICK BYTE

  • So, the KNUST SHS drama that’s been trending all week just took a left turn. Remember the viral video with the assistant headmaster and a supposed “13-year-old” student? Yeah, turns out sis said, “hold up, I’m 19, thank you very much.” She even dropped her birthday like a receipt: July 21, 2006. Basically, while GES was firing people and the Ministry of Gender was ready to call CID, homegirl was like, “Y’all better fix that narrative before my mates start calling me JHS 2 girl.” Read more

  • Dr. Zanetor Agyeman-Rawlings just dragged the entire justice system and honestly, she didn’t lie. She questioned why petty traders are thrown in jail faster than you can say “court adjourned,” while politicians who mismanage state funds are out here smiling in selfies and dropping quotes on X. Ghana’s system is giving “selective discipline” like that teacher who only punishes the broke kids but lets the rich ones go because their dad donated cement to the school. Get the full deets in the Deep Dive section.

  • Former Prez Nana Akufo-Addo finally opened up about Ghana’s debt restructuring, and let’s just say, man was in his darkest timeline. Nana Addo said watching the economy gasp for air was like “seeing your crush move on with someone richer.” The debt was suffocating, and the relief, though helpful, felt like a plaster on a bullet wound. He mentioned how the drawn-out process left deep scars on regular Ghanaians especially retirees whose investments turned into fancy IOUs. Read more

  • For years, small Kwaku has been sitting in class with his knees knocking the next desk, dodging raindrops from a leaking roof like it’s dodgeball. Then boom, AngloGold pulls up like the cool uncle with money and says, “Pack your things, we’re moving!” Next thing you know, Kwaku’s in a two-storey building with a canteen, library, and an actual toilet that flushes. Character development unlocked.

    The new 24-unit classroom block is set to be one of Ghana’s biggest and most modern basic schools. AngloGold is even giving local contractors the bag so it’s not just students eating good; the whole community’s getting a slice of the pie. Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

❝

There are companies you can pay to kidnap you.

If you pay them a fee, they will come to kidnap you when you least expect it – ropes, binds, and all. They won’t do it immediately, though. They’ll wait for a certain period so you won’t remember that you paid someone to kidnap you.

  • You ever had someone lie so confidently you almost started doubting your own eyes? That’s basically what happened in Tano North. The MCE swore on his reputation that there was no galamsey on the River Bisi. Like he stood there proudly by the River Bisi with his chest out, saying, “There’s no galamsey here.” The chiefs nod. Cameras click. Everyone claps. Fast-forward a few days, and JoyNews pulls up with footage of Chinese miners doing the cha-cha in the same river. Like bro, were they invisible that day or what? It’s not even subtle. Heavy machinery everywhere, noise like a nightclub. The river itself looks tired like it’s been through three heartbreaks and one fuel price increase. Read more

  • Meet Frank Owusu, aka “Lifer”, the guy who thought he was starring in his own action movie at Assin Praso. So here’s how it went down: back in March, he allegedly stormed a woman’s home at Assin Praso, waving a locally made pistol. He took GH₵1,950 and dipped but not before leaving his gun behind. Rookie mistake 101. Man really said, “hold my weapon while I escape.” Probably thought the police were extras in his story. Lol, they weren’t. They tracked him down six months later. The police didn’t just catch him, they made it official official. Two months for the illegal firearm, 30 years for the robbery, both running together like a bad mixtape. Read more

  • You know how your mum always says, “If I come there…” and suddenly, the whole house goes quiet? That’s the same energy Mahama is bringing to galamsey. He hasn’t declared a state of emergency yet, but the tone was giving “don’t test me.” Basically, if the National Security Council even whispers that things are getting out of hand, man’s pulling the emergency lever faster than you can say “Chinese excavator.” Now, civil society groups and even the church are tired of talking. The Christian Council, Catholic Bishops, and the rest have been shouting from the mountaintop like prophets: “Declare the emergency!” Because the way rivers are looking like Milo and forests are turning into bald heads, it’s not cute. Ghana’s water bodies are literally fighting for their lives. But Mahama insists his current moves are working. It’s like when you start gym in January and swear your tummy’s getting flatter by March. We want to believe you, Mr. President, we really do. Read more

DEEP DIVE

Make It Make Sense

She recalled a case where a trader got two years for damaging part of an overpass and used it to throw shade at politicians who “damage entire roads with corruption” yet somehow end up free, rich, and occasionally giving lectures about patriotism. “They got the money, we can’t even account for how it translated into a road, but they’re walking free,” she said. Whew. Someone call the fire service because that’s a burn.

Zanetor didn’t stop there, she pulled receipts on shoddy government projects too. Apparently, a new building at Adabraka Polyclinic was so badly done, she said even a class one kid could’ve done a better paint job. Ouch. Imagine painting walls so bad, an MP compares your work to crayons.

Then she took it international, comparing Ghana’s laissez-faire governance to Rwanda and Singapore where you can’t even chew gum, let alone “chop state money.” Her point? Discipline and integrity aren’t optional if we want Ghana to stop being a punchline and start being a powerhouse.

So yeah, Dr. Zanetor said it with her chest, until we start jailing big men the same way we jail market women, the system will keep producing rich offenders and poor examples. And honestly? She’s right. The math isn’t mathing. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: