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If your shade was ‘Cocoa’, your chances were loco

Your whole script? “Yes madam, your change.”

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Chale News
March 24, 2025

So, what’s in the bag today?

  • Entertainment: Back in the day, if you weren’t light-skinned, your only role in movies was “friend of the main character” or “random market woman number 3.

  • Crime: Bro was supposed to defend the system, not defund it.

  • Crime: He felt the cheating in his spirit—but his eyes didn't get the memo.

  • Regional: Traders at Adum who lost everything to the fire outbreak are set to receive GH₵600K in relief.

  • Politics: AG calls theft allegations an insult but Addison’s missing GH₵10K says ‘Try Again’.

  • Fact of the Day: Drinking coffee could lead to death in Ethiopia. You won’t believe it!

  • Economic: Sky Train Scandal: No board approval, no answers but key players have ‘vanished.’

  • Regional: Teachers in Adabraka are fed up with junkies invading their schools, and GNAT has given the government a one-week ultimatum because if authorities won’t act, they will “advise themselves.

QUICK BYTE

  • According to Beverly, there was a time when Fair & Lovely was the Casting Director". Unless you were a household name like Jackie Appiah, getting major roles as a dark-skinned actor was like trying to catch air. You’d be met with disappointment. Producers swore that lighter skin looked “better on TV,” and if you weren’t rocking the half-caste glow, you were either playing a background character or waiting for the one role that didn’t require a “fair princess.” Luckily, times have changed, and the industry is finally embracing black actors without making them jump through bleaching hoops. Read more

  • You know how some people take work-home balance a little too seriously? Well, former National Signals Bureau boss Kwabena Adu-Boahene did just that—but instead of taking his workload home, he took the whole budget. If there was a Cyber Defence Fund, he apparently thought it was a Cyber Defence Fun(d)raiser—just that the only person benefiting was him and his real estate empire. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • If you’ve ever gotten a random gut feeling that your partner is up to something, take a deep breath, drink some water, and don’t do what Isaac Tetteh Angmortey did. My guy woke up one day, felt like his pregnant girlfriend was cheating, and decided to unleash WWE Smackdown except there was zero proof, zero logic, and, most importantly, zero reason. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below

  • Teachers in Adabraka are tired of junkies invading their schools, and they’re giving the government one week to fix it. GNAT reports that drug addicts have turned school premises into a danger zone—harassing female teachers, attacking security guards, and even using classrooms as public toilets. If nothing changes, GNAT warns they will “advise themselves,” a classic Ghanaian phrase that usually signals serious action. Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

❝

Drinking coffee in Turkey was once punishable by death.

  • For the traders at Adum, Kumasi, last Friday was a nightmare as a massive fire swept through their shops, turning years of hard work into ashes. But in a rare display of swift action, GH₵600,000 has been raised in just 24 hours to cushion the victims. The Ashanti Regional Minister, Dr. Frank Amoakohene, confirmed that a generous businessman donated GH₵500K to support 50 victims, specifically students and single parents. Meanwhile, the Gender Ministry stepped in with an extra GH₵100K for the most vulnerable traders who lost their livelihoods overnight. But before you start wondering if this will turn into a who-you-know distribution, authorities have assured the public that they are collecting data to ensure the funds reach the right people. Read more

  • Attorney General Dr. Dominic Ayine is fuming over claims that National Security operatives stole GH₵10,000 and jewelry while searching Dr. Ernest Addison’s home. He dismissed the allegations as baseless, calling them an “insult” and accusing MPs of misusing their privileges to spread misinformation.

    But here’s the thing—if nothing was taken, why is the Minority so sure? And if the cash really disappeared, are we going to see another "we will investigate" situation that leads nowhere? Either way, this isn’t the last we’ve heard of Addison’s missing money. Read more

  • Ghana’s Sky Train project is giving more "vanishing acts" than actual rail tracks. Attorney General Dominic Ayine has disclosed that the controversial contract never received board approval before payments were made. Speaking at a press conference, he confirmed that some key players in the deal have gone into hiding, with reports of a few escaping to Senegal. The project, originally pitched as a solution to Accra’s infamous traffic congestion, was signed between the Government of Ghana and South Africa’s Africa Investment (PTY) Limited. However, investigations have unearthed major financial and procedural irregularities because what’s a big-ticket Ghanaian project without some “we don’t know how the money moved” moments? Read more

DEEP DIVE

From Cyber Defence to Real Estate Mogul

They put Kwabena Adu-Boahene in charge of cyber defence, but bro saw “defence” and thought it meant defend your pockets. The man allegedly looted millions meant for national security and turned himself into a real estate tycoon overnight. Instead of catching cybercriminals, he allegedly became one.

According to the Attorney-General, Uncle K was out here laundering state funds like it was Saturday morning laundry day. Instead of defending the nation from cyber threats, my man allegedly turned into Kumasi's Jeff Bezos, using government money to buy properties both in Accra and overseas.

Turns out, he and his wife set up a private company and used it to collect government contract money. Imagine sending an invoice to yourself, paying yourself, and then smiling at yourself in your brand-new mansion. Man really played Monopoly in real life, and now the A-G has flipped the board.

Now, investigators are tracing every cedi, every property, and every bank transaction linked to his alleged heist. Authorities have a whole shopping list of his assets, and let’s just say, this guy wasn’t saving for any rainy days, he was saving for a private island. But now, instead of beachfront views, he’s looking at some serious hard time real estate possibly with a lovely gated community called Nsawam Prison. Read more

Sir, you’re battling your own imagination.

According to reports, Isaac was at work when a sudden telepathic signal told him his girlfriend was doing the do with another man in their home. So, instead of verifying like a sane person, bro clocked out, rushed home, found no one, and still said, “Yeah, she’s guilty.” He then pulled up to her auntie’s house and went full Mike Tyson mode on a six-month pregnant woman. Isaac, be serious.

By the time the police arrived, Isaac was serving premium foolishness, and Hannah was in critical condition with swollen body parts and blood dripping from her lips, neck, and ears. Thankfully, the baby is okay, but this whole thing has left the community shook. Like, we know some men don’t believe in communication, but this is a whole new level of nonsense.

Now, Isaac is on an all-expense-paid trip to remand prison, where he’ll have plenty of time to reflect on his life choices. Meanwhile, the community is calling for stronger actions against domestic violence because, clearly, some people need the law to remind them that women are not punching bags. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: