Indoor Cocoa and Outdoor Cocoa

Chale, it’s a beautiful brand new day gbain, gbain, gbain, gbain… and there’s news to be told (and to be read). As usual, we’ve brought a truckload. What you’ll read today includes:

• Parliament: Break over please as Bagbin calls everybody back.

• National: Is COCOBOD growing cocoa in their office or just spending GH¢3.4bn on fancy desks?

• Economic: Gov’s borrowing spree hits GH¢115.77 billion in H1 2024, up 70.22%—because who needs a budget when you have T-bills?

• Economic: ISSER says the cedi’s wild ride is making life expensive (but we be knewing. Knewn’t we?

• Politics: Bawumia says we shouldn’t vote for Mahama.

• Fact of the Day: What happened in Barcelona didn’t stay in Barcelona

• Also did you know the Guinea fowls didn’t fly away to Burkina?😁😁 E shock you?

Let’s begin, shall we?

QUICK BYTE

• The Minority in Parliament is throwing shade at COCOBOD. Eric Opoku, the Ranking Member on the Food, Agriculture, and Cocoa Affairs Committee, is leading this charge. He's basically asking if COCOBOD is growing cocoa right there in their fancy offices because, why else would their headquarters cost GH¢3.4 billion in 2023 while production declines? Eric is grilling COCOBOD like your mom when she finds out you spent your lunch money on video games. For context, COCOBOD's budget is more than the entire Ministry of Agriculture’s budget. Sane eba! Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

• You're just lounging and chilling on your leave, when boom, your boss hits you up, "Emergency meeting on September 3!" That’s exactly what happened to our MPs, thanks to Speaker Bagbin. The Majority Leader, Afenyo-Markin, wasn't feeling the indefinite adjournment vibe and pushed for a comeback to handle some urgent business. What urgent business though? Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below

• In the first half of 2024, the government borrowed a jaw-dropping GH¢115.77 billion from the T-bill market, a 70.22% increase from last year. Investors, eager for safe returns, pumped in bids worth GH¢116.07 billion, showing that T-bills are the current hot commodity.

  Despite this borrowing frenzy, T-bill yields took a nosedive due to a positive inflation outlook and a cut in the monetary policy rate. Read more in the Deep Dive Section.

• Dr. Bawumia is saying that if Ghanaians vote for Mahama in 2024, they’re basically signing up for a four-year ride with no future accountability. He argues that since Mahama would be on his way to retirement after one term, he won’t be as motivated to deliver on his promises. It’s like hiring someone who knows they’re about to retire—where’s the hustle?

  On his Eastern Region tour, Bawumia has been making this pitch to everyone from chiefs to students, even promising Krobo Girls a new bus. His message? Choose a leader who’s here for the long game, not just a quick exit. Read more

• Everybody knows the cedi’s been on a rollercoaster ride, and we’re all just hanging on for dear life. But ISSER’s latest report is giving us the lowdown on why everything’s costing so much—blame it on the cedi’s mood swings! This year, the cedi’s dropped nearly 19% against the dollar, which, while better than last year’s nosedive, is still making life pricey. Inflation’s cooled off a bit, but at 22.8%, it’s still no picnic compared to 2021.

  Their advice? The government needs to step up—tighten forex rules, push for more exports, and fix those roads in Ghana’s food basket regions. Read more

• John Dramani Mahama has debunked the rumor that guinea fowls from the Savannah Accelerated Development Authority (SADA) took an unplanned trip to Burkina Faso. According to Mahama, the SADA guinea fowl initiative wasn’t about creating a birdie vacation spot but rather distributing day-old chicks to farmers. He joked that the confusion stemmed from a watchman’s whimsical comment, which the media turned into a full-blown adventure story. Read more

• Ghana’s coastline is under siege from erosion, flooding, and climate change, but help is on the way. With $155 million from the Government and the World Bank, the "West Africa Coastal Areas Resilience Investment Project" is set to bolster key coastal areas like the Korle Lagoon, Densu Delta, and Keta Lagoon Complex. The project focuses on stopping erosion, boosting vegetation, and stabilizing vulnerable areas. Read more

• Rudeboy, of P-Square fame, has some advice for Shatta Wale: stop the beef and focus on the music. He believes that Shatta Wale’s constant conflicts are not only hurting his reputation but also costing him financially. In the music industry, beefs might grab attention momentarily, but they lead to long-term losses in money and opportunities. Will Shatta take this advice lightly or will his next beef be with Rudeboy? Read more

• Historian Kwaku Darko Ankrah has sparked controversy by stating that many individuals, not just the Big Six, were crucial in Ghana's independence struggle. He highlighted figures like R.S. Blay, Paa Grant, and Joseph William de-Graft Johnson, who played significant roles but were not part of the Big Six due to their absence during the 1948 arrests.

  The way things are going, it won’t be long before we have like 39 different Founder Holidays in Ghana. Read more

DEEP DIVE

COCOBOD’s office expenses skyrocket to GH¢3.4 billion, leaving MPs wondering if they’re growing cocoa indoors!

Your friend, Joe is complaining about being broke while living it up in a mansion and going on shopping sprees. That’s the vibe the Minority in Parliament is getting from COCOBOD. With cocoa production dropping to 655,000 tonnes over the last four years, you'd think they’d tighten their belts. But no, COCOBOD’s head office decided to go all out, splurging GH¢3.4 billion in 2023.

Eric Opoku, the Ranking Member on the Food, Agriculture, and Cocoa Affairs Committee, didn’t hold back. He’s like COCOBOD, you got your proirities effed up! He called them out COCOBOD out for treating toiling farmers' hard-earned cash like Monopoly money. Opoku’s rhetorical question hit hard: “Are you growing the cocoa in the office?”

The disparity between the GH¢3.4 billion office expenditure and the GH¢2.7 billion spent by the entire Ministry of Agriculture is as stark as day and night. Something's definitely off here.

Anyway, he wants COCOBOD needs to start thinking like a frugal Ghanaian mother and cut down on these sky-high expenses. Read more

PS: Those of you who want to work at COCOBOD, why didn’t you tell the rest of us about the indoor cocoa? 😁😁

Ding. Ding. Ding. Break Over, Please.

So why the urgency for Parlaiment to resume on September 3? Well, it’s all thanks to Majority Leader Alexander Afenyo-Markin, who was not having it with the indefinite adjournment from July 30. Like a determined friend not letting you skip leg day, he petitioned Mr. Speaker, insisting Parliament had some serious adulting to do. Think of it as your group project’s deadline looming, and only half the slides are done.

On the docket for this impromptu get-together: some heavyweight topics like the Financing Agreement with the International Development Association, tax exemptions for the One District, One Factory gang, and the Ghana Financial Stability Fund. It's basically a crash course in government 101, packed into a single afternoon. Someone better bring the coffee. Read more

Borrow Borrow

Our government is diving deep into the Treasury Bill market like it's Black Friday, borrowing a whopping GH¢115.77 billion in just the first half of 2024. That’s a massive 70.22% jump compared to last year. It’s like they found the cheat code for extra cash, but with real-world consequences.

Investors are clearly vibing with T-bills, submitting bids worth GH¢116.07 billion. Why? Because it's safer than GoG bonds, and who doesn't love a good return on investment? It's the financial equivalent of choosing a cozy hoodie over a flashy but itchy sweater. Comfort and security for the win!

Despite the government’s borrowing binge, T-bill yields are doing a limbo dance—how low can you go? With a positive inflation outlook and a 100 basis points cut in the monetary policy rate, yields dropped significantly. The 91-day and 182-day rates fell to 24.87% and 26.80%, while the 364-day slid to 27.79%. Investors are still on board, though, proving that safety nets are in style.

Weekly uptakes are hitting record highs, showing just how much the government leans on these short-term securities. It’s like trying to patch up a leaky boat with duct tape—sure, it works for now, but let’s hope they’re also working on a long-term fix. Read more

CHECK OUT WHAT’S TRENDING

• Ghana Tertiary Education Commision won’t close down schools.

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from:

1. www.myjoyonline.com

2. www.ghanaweb.com

3. www.citinewsroom.com

4. www.norvanreports.com

5. www.channel1new.com