Jesus turned water into wine...

and Agyei turned water into acid.

Author

Chale News
February 03, 2025

Welcome officially to the month specifically made to press the necks of single pipos. 😁😁

Here are today’s stories:

  • Crime: Man claims he ‘accidentally’ poured acid on friend—but at this point, even the acid is confused.

  • Economic: In Ghana, two things never lack supporters—football and Treasury bills! January’s T-bill auction raised a massive GHS 38.45bn.

  • National: Afenyo-Markin just turned Parliament into a prayer camp—because leading Ghana’s opposition is not a job you do on your own strength!

  • Economic: Ghana’s Mobile Money system is giving—and Africa is taking notes.

  • Regional: Yeboakrom: Where your phone battery has more travel experience than you!

  • Fact of the Day: It’s illegal to do this in France. You’ll wish it was illegal in Ghana too.

  • Sports: From the moment Kotoko’s team stepped into the stadium, hostility was on the menu.

  • Crime: ECG is coming—either pay for your light or pay for a lawyer!

QUICK BYTE

  • Remember sometime last year, we told you about Ernest Agyei, a house help, allegedly threw acid on Benjamin Asante while they were cleaning floor tiles. This week in court, Agyei doubled down, saying he had no clue the liquid he poured on Benjamin Asante was acid. Apparently, there were four containers around them, and he just picked the wrong one. Like, sir… were the other three labeled not acid? Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • Imagine waking up in the morning, grabbing your phone to check WhatsApp, and boom—2% battery. Now, imagine the nearest charging spot is in another town, and to get there, you have to trek more than street hawker. Welcome to Yeboakrom, where phone charging requires visa-free travel and road trips you never planned for. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • If you ever needed proof that Treasury bills are the new sakawa, here it is. In January 2025, the government set a target, but investors said, “Take more, we beg!” Total bids hit a whopping GHS 40.59 billion, with GHS 38.45 billion accepted—smashing the target by 39%. Apparently, Ghanaian investors have decided that Treasury bills are their love language for 2025. Weekly bids skyrocketed to GHS 7.8 billion from last year’s GHS 5.3 billion. And even with the Bank of Ghana keeping the lending rate at 27%, demand remains strong. Why? Because T-bill yields still dey bee waa! (For now.) Read more

  • Afenyo-Markin made it clear that he’s not about to freestyle his way through Parliament. He’s got an entire prayer hotline in place, featuring his Anglican priest in Winneba and what we can only assume is a WhatsApp group of intercessors on speed dial. Because leading the NPP in Parliament? Hard pass if you’re not spiritually fortified. He even had a spiritual flex-off with Sam George, letting him know that his Holy Spirit baptism receipts date back to SHS. Read more

  • You know that feeling when you flex something small, and suddenly, everyone wants to copy your homework? Yeah, that’s Ghana’s mobile money system right now. The Chairperson of the Advisory Council of the Africa Prosperity Network (APN), Dr. Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma just put the whole continent on notice—“If you’re not doing mobile money like Ghana, you’re doing it wrong.” Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

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In France, it's illegal for employers to send emails after work hours.

  • Football is supposed to be 90 minutes of vibes, banter, and heartbreak (if your team is losing). But what happened at Nana Kronmansah II Park? That was less GPL, more Royal Rumble, and sadly, it ended in tragedy. From the moment Kotoko’s team stepped into the stadium, hostility was on the menu. It started with home fans throwing missiles at the bench. Their goalkeeper was mobbed, their Head of Media suffered a serious injury, and heartbreakingly, a fan named Polley lost his life after being stabbed. Read more

  • ECG is on a mission to end meter tampering! With 10% of meters in Dansoman alone being manipulated, the company vows to prosecute offenders, from contractors to customers. "No one will be spared!" says ECG's boss. Read more

DEEP DIVE

‘I Didn’t Know It Was Acid’

But Asante, who spent three months in the hospital after the incident, is calling cap. According to him, Agyei was mad at him for not taking his side in a different argument, so he turned his anger into an impromptu chemical warfare experiment. The court session basically turned into an episode of Judge Judy, with cross-examinations flying and everyone trying to prove who’s really telling the truth.

Agyei is still out on his GH¢50,000 bail, waiting for his next appearance on February 5, 19, and 26. He is standing firm on his accidental acid defense though. Read more

If you think Dumsor is bad, try living in Yeboakrom

Abena Fowaa, a 27-year-old resident, has perfected the art of calculated phone usage. With no electricity in the community, she and her neighbors literally cross borders just to keep their phones alive. You think your daily commute is bad? Try walking miles on bumpy roads just to juice up your phone, only to get back home and see "low battery" pop up again before you can even text "I'm back."

And let’s not even talk about how this affects the teachers. Apparently, the lack of light is giving them hard pass energy when it comes to accepting postings here. Can you blame them, though? Even the solar panels the community once had couldn’t keep up with the demand. That’s how you know things are tough—when even the sun taps out.

The people of Yeboakrom aren’t just sitting around, though. They’re taking matters into their own hands, pooling resources to buy electricity poles because if the government won’t do it, who go do am? But until the power issue is sorted, Yeboakrom remains a place where your phone battery needs more endurance training than a marathon runner. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: