Like a broke uncle

That's ECG for you!

Author

Chale News
April 11, 2025

Can you believe we’re nearly in the middle of April? Easter is next week! Kinda feels like it was only yesterday, were shouting “Happy New Year!!!”. We hope these past four months have brought you some sweet changes.

Talking about changes, come closer. So for the next couple of weeks, we’re going to be writing to you on Friday’s only but we’ll do well to gist you on happenings from the week. No, we’re not ghosting you. It won’t be long, we’ll be back to our regular 5 day hustle. For now, just stay with us.

  • Economic: ECG didn’t just have money issues; they weren’t even invited to the revenue party. No chop, no seat.

  • National: 3 Friends, One Pit, and a Bail Tag That Could Buy 4 latest iPhones and Still Make You Cry

  • Politics: When your fave doesn’t get picked for class prefect so you burn the classroom.

  • Sports: Ghana’s U-21 hockey teams just got ghosted… by the budget.

  • Fact of the Day: Do you know what a giraffe’s tongue can do?

  • Regional: IGP said “drop your guns and get a job” — Minority said “are you mad?”

  • National: If he doesn’t show up, we’ll show out” Vanderpuye fires warning shot at Afenyo-Markin.

QUICK BYTE

  • ECG, our national power distributor, has been moving like that one cousin who always shows up to the party but never brings anything. According to former MD Dubik Mahama (not related to the other Mahamas, we think), ECG wasn’t just broke. Bro, they weren’t even in the chat when it came to revenue convos. Imagine a company in charge of light that can’t even power up their bank account? Man said ECG’s revenue stayed between GH¢450 mil and GH¢500 mil for years. Stagnant, like flood water behind your house. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • So Ghana's U-21 hockey squads were all set to pull up in Namibia, represent the flag, and maybe hit a few winning shots. The gear was packed, the coaches were hyped, the WhatsApp group chats were buzzing… but guess what? The money no show. Zero coins. Nada. So now they’re benched while the rest of Africa plays on. It’s giving “you trained for months and packed jollof for the road trip but then Uber said 'insufficient funds'.” And this ain’t just some friendly match. It was the continental qualifier for the World Cup in India. Dreams = dashed. Opportunities = yeeted. Ghana hasn’t shown up at junior-level hockey in over a decade—last time was 2010. If this was a relationship, we’d say it’s long-distance gone wrong. Read more

  • Your squad submits three names for class captain—Mohammed, Yakubu, and Imoro. Everyone’s chill. People are campaigning, flyers are out, “Vote for Yakubu” t-shirts are in motion. Then boom! Outta nowhere, the school prefect comes and says, “Let’s go with Esther instead.” Just like that. No notice. No “can we talk?” Just vibes. The Mampong youth were not having it. Man dem pulled up to the party office like “we came to fight, not to talk.” They didn’t just issue press releases. They issued fire. Actual fire. As in furniture turned into firewood, office property got a taste of the afterlife. No arrests yet, which is giving very much “we’re just disappointed, not mad” energy from the police. Read more

  • You know how every squad has that one friend who always has “vibes” plans? Like “boys, let’s go hustle small”... next thing you know, you’re chest-deep in a mining pit with a metal detector, dodging police like you’re in GTA. That’s how Fatawu the mechanic, Simon the unemployed youth, and Solomon the barber with apparently too much free time on his hands, mining expedition ended. According to the police, the boys tried to vanish like Snapchat messages when they saw them. They were caught red-handed in Asanko Gold’s concession hiding their tools like kids who just broke a TV remote. Now, they’re out on GH¢100,000 bail each. Court date: May 5. Read more

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The funniest twist? Solo claimed he was just there for “support.” Not to mine oo, just to vibe and watch. Sir, this is illegal mining, not a football match. What were you hoping for? Commentary? “And Fatawu swings his pickaxe again!”😂😂😂😂

FACT OF THE DAY

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A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.

  • So Ghana’s new IGP allegedly told some residents of violence-ridden Bawku, “If you drop your weapon, you might land a job in the police service.” And that comment went from zero to “what in the Netflix action series is this?” real quick.

    Minority MPs were not having it. Chief Whip Frank Annoh-Dompreh called it reckless, dangerous, and basically an open invite for other regions to go rogue because now it sounds like violence could be your new CV builder. Wild. Read more

  • This week, politics in Ghana added a sprinkle of blockbuster tension.Rev. Fordjour allegedly dropped some heavy claims — think drug trafficking and money laundering involving two mystery aircraft at KIA. But when NIB agents tried to arrest him, they got bounced harder people with visa from fake agents. Afenyo-Markin assured the powers that be that Ntim Fordjour would report himself voluntarily by Thursday morning. Vanderpuye was holding him to that pinky promise. His words? “If he doesn’t show, we’ll go fetch him.” And not politely.

    The NIB wanted answers but it’s been cat and mouse ever since. 👀Read more

DEEP DIVE

Broke Broke Broke

Former MD Dubik Mahama said the company was moving like a broke uncle; always present, never providing. Their revenue stayed flat for years until he stepped in and helped triple it.

So when Dubik took over in 2022, he pulled a “glow up” that would make even Cinderella jealous. ECG’s revenue apparently jumped to GH¢1.5 billion under his watch. That’s almost like going from “I’m managing” to “Send momo and add something for yourself.” But Dubik didn’t come to chase clout, he came with receipts, saying the company had been ghosting the business side for years. Infrastructure was getting all the love, but customer service? Crickets. ECG had over 700 unfinished electrical projects and only 12 related to actual customers. Like how you buy every phone accessory except airtime.

He also confessed that being on ECG’s board was very different from actually managing the wahala. It’s one thing to sit in meetings nodding like you understand PowerPoint slides; it’s another thing to be in the trenches where meters are faulty, wires are missing, and customers are calling you “thief” on live radio. Dubik basically said ECG’s customer relationship was so bad, it was giving “situation-ship.” No wonder people were dodging bills like it’s dodgeball.

So now, ECG is trying to fix its image and money matters, but whew chile, it’s been a journey. Honestly, the way ECG was set up, it’s like they were playing Monopoly but forgot to buy any property. They were just passing ‘Go’ and collecting vibes. Maybe now that they’re trying to talk to customers like actual humans, there’s hope. But until ECG learns how to charge your account without breaking your spirit, we’re watching with side-eye and portable lanterns ready. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

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