Nothing Like Timetable

We Faced Everything Everywhere All at Once!

Author

Chale News
April 30, 2026

30 days has April, and we used all of them kwata kwata!

Some of the things that happened while you were propably minding your business, or contributing to the chaos (who knows?)

  • Crime: Police catch “Abokobi Arsenal Man”

  • Sports: New Coach, Same Stress Loading…

  • National: Citizens are not convinced this is not Dumsor. Because when fridge stops working, semantics don’t matter.

  • National: Since 2018…..60 Aayalolo buses render no accounts – GAPTE probe reveals.

  • Fact: Chainsaws are great for cutting down trees, pruning overgrown bushes, or even carving ice. But the reason why chainsaws were invented might shock you.

QUICK BYTE

  • Can you imagine losing almost two decades of your life for something you didn’t do. That’s not a movie plot oo, that’s Ghana this month. A man who was wrongly jailed for 19 years finally got justice. The courts said, “Sir, we reviewed the situation… and yeah, this one no be you.” The awarded him GH¢800k. NINETEEN YEARS OO. Mandem went into the cooler when Facebook was fresh and is coming out to TikTok dances. Compensation is good… but also, how do you price 19 years? Like what’s the exchange rate for lost time?

  • This month, electricity (more like the lack of it) blinked lights like it was flirting with us. One minute you’re charging your phone, next minute darkness. Turns out, an issue at the Akosombo substation caused serious power wahala, and the whole country entered soft “dumsor but don’t call it dumsor” mode. Government said relax, engineers are working. Suddenly everybody became “energy expert,” checking plugs like it owed them money. ECG kept dropping statements like “we are working on it,” but at this point, that sentence has lost emotional value. By evening, fans were fighting for their lives and generators were getting promoted from “backup plan” to “main character.” The country hasn’t fully collapse into dumsor, but the trust in light? Completely unstable.

  • While we were all sweating and fanning ourselves like church mothers, Parliament and policy people were also doing their own version of “fix it now.” Some were demanding a timetable (because at least let us know when to cry), others were saying “it’s not that bad.” Meanwhile, businesses, students, and vibes were all being interrupted mid-sentence. Imagine watching your favourite show and the light goes off at the climax. Actually, don’t imagine if you live in Ghana. You’ve already had your fair share😂😂

  • Government started revoking mining licences like it was clearing storage on a full phone. If your activity was linked to environmental damage, your permit was suddenly on airplane mode. Some miners were shocked, others acted like they saw it coming but were “waiting to confirm.” Either way, the message was clear: illegal mining pressure is back on the agenda. But Ghanaians have seen this cycle before, so the reaction was mixed; some clapping, some waiting to see if enforcement will actually last longer than a news cycle.

  • One guy had more guns than a Call of Duty lobby. Police arrested him in Abokobi. Pump-action guns, pistols, ammunition, the full “no small boy” package. According to reports, he claimed it was for hunting and protection. But the amount of firepower in one room was giving anything but countryside hunting vibes. Authorities didn’t buy the explanation and took him in for further questioning, because at that point the question becomes: protection from what exactly?

  • Remember in March, the GFA said “Otto Addo, thanks for your service” and moved on like group project members who don’t text back (of course, you remember). Enter new coach Carlos Queiroz like a fresh semester syllabus everybody pretending they understand what’s coming. Fans online are acting like they’re calm, but you can see the trauma in the comment section. Because Ghana football and peace don’t stay in the same group chat for long. Even Sports Ministry is doing damage control, explaining salaries, expectations, and “trust the process” speeches. Classic Ghana football cycle: hope → hype → heartbreak → repeat.

  • So nurses’ arrears finally dropped. People are reacting like someone paid back a debt you already emotionally wrote off. Government also announced plans to recruit like 16,000 health workers. Which sounds good, but also sounds like when your landlord says “we will talk.” For now though, nurses dey breathe small.

FACT OF THE MONTH

❝

The chainsaw was originally invented to more safely perform a brutal surgery known as a symphysiotomy on laboring women, during which the birth canal was widened with a hand-cranked, rotating blade.

Eiissshhhh…

  • Dr Zanetor Agyeman-Rawlings just walked into the Pan-African Parliament and came out with a serious upgrade. She’s now Second Deputy President. That’s top-table seating at the African Union’s legislative house in South Africa. She didn’t sneak it either. She won with a solid 131 votes, leaving her opponent with 51 points far behind. Meaning across Africa, her colleagues basically said, “yeah, we’re giving you keys to the next level.”

  • Police stopped a 40-foot trailer in Ghana and what they found inside was not cement, not rice, not “legit cargo”… but about five million Tapentadol tablets. That’s a whole pharmaceutical economy quietly rolling down the road. Four people have been picked up already after the Narcotics Control Commission operation, with the trailer allegedly heading toward Niger. Meaning this wasn’t “mistake in delivery address” behaviour. This was coordinated movement until it wasn’t. Yeah, we’re thinking what you’re thinking too. “Five million pills? Who ordered this?” I hope we find out soon.

Sixty Buses, Zero Receipts. Make It Make Sense

This story starts simple but ends in that “how did we get here?” energy. The Greater Accra Passenger Transport Executive is saying 60 Aayalolo buses were moved to Kumasi in 2018, and since that day, nobody can point to a single cedi they made. Not one pesewa Not even “small something for maintenance.”

The interesting thing is: those buses weren’t just parked somewhere for vibes. They were handed over locally in Kumasi to be managed, repairs were even being done by engineers from Accra, but somehow the money side of things went quiet.

Now an audit is in motion because the new management walked in six months ago and basically asked the obvious question: “so where is the money?” What they found is that out of 60 buses, only a handful are even functional. Some are grounded, some are gone through fire damage, and the system that was supposed to run them looks like it was running on hope.

Right now, GAPTE is trying to recover control, fix what is left, and bring the buses back into actual service. The current claim is that when 16 of the recovered buses started operating again, revenue started flowing immediately. Which is where the real question sits quietly in the corner: if money started coming again that fast… what exactly was happening all these years?

AND IF YOU THINK WE’RE LYING..

Receipts don’t lie: