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So, what’s in the bag today?
Regional: Fines, sheep, and nudes: Drobo chiefs set a price for foolishness.
Economic: Trump just turned Ghana’s imports into a side hustle; 10% commission for no reason.
Regional: Tinker Island is closing down; drug dealers, start updating your CVs.
National: Musah Dankwah has spoken: If you hate his polls, kindly deposit them in the nearest bin. Problem solved.
National: PUWU: We asked ECG about the containers, They ghosted us too. Now it’s time to shock the system, respectfully.
Fact of the Day: If you want to dig your way to China, there’s only one place to begin!
National: Broke but bilingual? Ablakwa says you might soon get more chop money!
National: CJ might be losing her seat... and she wasn’t even on the guest list for the plot. Supreme Court to settle the tea.
QUICK BYTE
You know how they say ‘oversharing will cost you?’ Well, in Drobo, it literally will. The Traditional Council has laid down the law: if you’re caught sharing someone’s leaked nude video, be ready to cough up GHC6,000 and six sheep. Yes, six full-grown baa-ing animals. The chiefs have had it with people turning their community into the latest gossip hub on social media. Apparently, some spicy content featuring two well-known locals leaked, and now, it’s pure chaos. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.
Imagine you and your friend are chilling. Then one day, unprovoked, they tell you, “Yo, from now on, you have to pay 10% anytime you borrow my charger.” No explanation, no prior warning. That’s Trump right now. He just decided Ghanaian imports needed an extra 10% tax, and now Ablakwa is summoning the US Ambassador. Because really, what did we do to deserve this? Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.
Kumasi’s worst-kept secret, ‘Tinker Island,’ is finally getting a police-sponsored shutdown, and let’s just say, it’s long overdue. The place has been a whole cartel headquarters, with dealers and users moving Makola on a Monday morning. But Interior Minister Muntaka Mubarak has had enough. He’s now tasked the Ashanti Regional Police Command to clear the area within six months because clearly, whatever methods they used before weren’t working. The drug lords berra start packing cos the only thing that’s about to get high now is the number of police officers showing up at their doorstep. Read more
If you’ve got a problem with Global InfoAnalytics’ polls, Musah Dankwah has a simple solution—dump it in the bin. The Executive Director has had it with critics who accuse the research firm of bias, reminding everyone that their job is to collect and share data, not to please political parties. His latest post-election poll is already stirring more controversy. It suggests that a whopping 68% of respondents blame former President Nana Akufo-Addo for the NPP’s defeat in 2024. Now, whether party faithful want to accept this or not, Dankwah doesn’t really care. If history is anything to go by, he’s ready to take the heat again. Read more
FACT OF THE DAY
Digging a hole to China" is possible if you start in Argentina.
Lights out? More like containers out. The Public Utility Workers Union (PUWU) has had enough of ECG’s procurement issues and they’re backing Energy Minister John Jinapor’s plan to clean house. The union believes ECG’s problems go beyond flickering bulbs and prepaid meter drama. Apparently, containers full of important equipment have been chilling at the port while ECG racks up demurrage charges like it’s a game of Monopoly. PUWU says it’s been asking top ECG management for answers on why these containers are stuck, but so far, it’s been crickets. The union claims this is just one example of the many inefficiencies that are draining the power distributor’s finances. That’s why they’re fully in support of a ministerial committee established to investigate and recommend reforms that don’t involve selling off ECG to the highest bidder. Read more
There’s courtroom drama brewing as Old Tafo MP, Vincent Ekow Assafuah, drags the President to the Supreme Court over how he’s handling a potential removal of the Chief Justice. The MP says the CJ wasn’t even notified before the President ran to the Council of State which is like throwing a surprise party and forgetting to invite the birthday girl. The hearing’s set for April 9, and depending on what the judges decide, Ghana could be rewriting how it handles big judge beefs. Will the Constitution back the CJ? Read more
You travel all the way to Benin on a school exchange program, ready to slay in French, only to end up speaking fluent sapa. That’s been the reality for some Ghanaian students out there learning new vocab while budgeting CFA 45,000. The students say the one-year program has been sliced in half, which means they’re now learning French at double speed on half budget. But hey, there’s finally light at the end of the tunnel. Our very own Foreign Affairs Minister, Okudzeto Ablakwa, has promised to increase their monthly stipends. No exact figure yet. He’s also promising that allowances will start arriving on time, so students can finally focus on French, not fasting. Fingers crossed the chop money hits accounts before the “bonjour” even leaves their lips. Read more
DEEP DIVE
Ablakwa to US Ambassador: Make It Make Sense
This tariff is not just vibes—it’s serious business. Importers are already crying, because goods from the US are about to enter their “luxury” era. You thought a bag of rice was expensive before? Wait till this tax lands properly. And let’s not forget Ghana’s economy is already playing ‘hard to get.’ Now add an extra 10% on imports, and things are about to be more unaffordable than an iPhone in December.
Ablakwa, being the guy around town that he is, isn’t taking this lightly. He’s dragging the US Ambassador for answers, hoping to get some clarity. But let’s be real—when has Trump ever explained himself? This is the same man who banned TikTok, just vibes. So unless Ambassador Palmer has some solid receipts, we might be stuck with this tariff like a stubborn MTN deduction.
At this rate, Ghana might have to start asking China for friendship discounts because America is clearly treating us like strangers. But let’s wait and see—maybe Ablakwa will pull off the diplomatic version of “bro, reduce it for me.” Because if not, our pockets are about to experience premium suffering. Read more
Fines, Sheep, and Nudes; Drobo Chiefs Set a Price for Foolishness
Remember when elders used to warn us that social media would be the end of us? Well, the people of Drobo are finding out the hard way. After an ahem “private” video of two well-known locals mysteriously made its way to the internet, the Traditional Council decided enough is enough. They’ve slapped a GHC6,000 fine and a six-sheep penalty on anyone caught sharing the video. That means your ‘just for laughs’ forward could cost you your salary and have you running around looking for sheep like a lost herdsman.
And let’s talk about the real victims here: the poor sheep. Imagine chilling in your pen, minding your grass, and suddenly, boom! Some oversabi social media user leaks a video, and now you’re being whisked away as fine payment. Tough times. But jokes aside, the chiefs are making a strong statement; revenge porn and public shaming have consequences. Drobo has basically said, “If you can’t respect people’s privacy, prepare to pay in cash and cattle.
Now, the biggest mystery: who actually leaked the video? The Traditional Council isn’t just about collecting fines, they also want to find the source of the leak. Because let’s be honest, the real problem isn’t the people resharing (though they’re guilty too), it’s the original leaker who decided to play Big Brother and expose private matters to the whole internet. Drobo is small, so best believe people are already whispering and investigating like amateur FBI agents.
One thing’s for sure; no one in Drobo is sharing nudes anytime soon. The only thing people will be forwarding now is the Traditional Council’s warning. And if you’re thinking of breaking the rule, just ask yourself: is that video really worth six sheep and 6K? Exactly. Save yourself the trouble, and let sleeping nudes lie. Read more
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