Six whole weeks and we still couldn't hit the sweet spot!

Chale, rise and shine! It's Monday—the day that comes around like a nosy neighbor in your area. The weekend might have slipped through our fingers like sand, but here we are, back at it. Remember, the only thing standing between you and a stellar week is that snooze button—and you've already conquered that (hopefully).

So what’s new?

• National: The government’s been like that friend who promises to bring jollof but shows up with just rice—still good, but you know it could’ve been better.

• Economic: According to Bawumia, he’s the VP, not the Prez, so we shouldn’t blame him for the unfulfilled promises.

• National: The quest for a better life shouldn’t end in an airport, but for one Ghanaian man, it did.

• Politics: Bawumia says, “if dreaming big makes me a liar, then sign me up.”

• Fact of the Day: In 1999, a man rose from the dead and got lucky twice more.

• National: Stealing water meters? That’s a no-no. Now, this guy’s got six months to think about his life choices.

• Health: Keta’s got its first ever dialysis centre.

• Crime: Complainant weeps as court drops fraud charges.

• Crime: Blogger goes to jail for spreading false news.

• Entertainment: After dropping GH₵3,000 on a butt enlargement product, a lady’s dreams of a curvier silhouette have left her looking like a “live-roasted pig” and begging for a refund.

• International: Imagine catching a criminal who's been on the run for 20 years, only to find him wearing a police badge in Mexico.

QUICK BYTE

• So, the government’s been trying to raise some cash, but for the sixth week running, they’ve missed their target—by just GHS 91 million this time. They aimed for GHS 5.31 billion, but GHS 5.22 billion isn’t too shabby, right? The 91-day T-Bill was the star of the show, raking in GHS 3.72 billion, but despite all the excitement, they just couldn’t hit that sweet spot. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

• During a media chit-chat at the Movenpick Hotel, Vice Prez Bawumia, who’s also the NPP’s flagbearer was asked why some major tax reforms haven’t seen the light of day. His response? “I’m the Vice President, not the President. Don’t look at me like I’m the one who controls the budget.

  He also took a playful jab at former President Mahama, saying even with full power, Mahama couldn’t do everything he promised. Bawumia made it clear he’s saving his best ideas for when he’s in the big seat, come the December 7 election. So, in a nutshell, Bawumia's message is, "Wait till I’m President, and then let’s talk about promises." Read more

• So, Keta’s got something worth celebrating! The town just got its first-ever Renal Dialysis Centre. Thanks to the big-hearted Togbi Tenge Dzokoto Gligui VII, who’s basically the MVP here (he really paid for everything). This Renal Unit isn’t just a first for Keta; it’s the only one in the entire Southern belt of the region, and the second in the whole Volta Region. Read more

• So, here’s some tea, and it’s not the kind that’s easy to sip. A 39-year-old Ghanaian man tragically lost his life while being detained at Brazil’s Guarulhos International Airport. He was part of a group of "inadmissible travelers" held at the airport because they didn’t have the right papers to get into the country. Read more in the Deep Dive Section.

• So, in the latest episode of “Why Would You Even Do That?” we’ve got a 25-year-old dude who decided stealing water meters was a good idea. It wasn’t. Samuel Kpomble got caught red-handed in Golf City and is now headed to jail for six months. Hard labor included. According to Mr. Sampson Ampah, the Tema Regional Communications Manager for GWCL, the region’s been dealing with over 500 water meter thefts in just the past three months. Replacing these meters is costing GWCL big time and he’s advising scrap dealers to stop buying stolen GWCL meters. Read more

• So, Dr. Bawumia is out here getting called a liar by the NDC, but instead of getting all up in his feelings, he’s like, “You think ‘liar’ hurts? At least I’m not out here being called ‘Government Official 1’ or worse!” Yep, he’s reminding everyone about those Airbus bribery scandal days when “Government Official 1” was a thing and hinting at who wore that crown. Read more

• So, you know how sometimes you lose your keys, and it takes, like, 20 minutes to find them? Well, the US lost a whole criminal for 20 years. Antonio “El Diablo” Riano, a guy wanted for a fatal shooting in Cincinnati, was finally found working as a police officer in Mexico. This guy literally went from “Most Wanted” to “Most Likely to Give You a Speeding Ticket.” Maybe they’ll make a movie for us? Read more

• A blogger named Jeffrey Epprim Nyame is now serving a 30-day jail sentence for publishing some seriously misleading news. Back in 2022, he claimed dollar account holders would get their cash in cedis at Bank of Ghana rates—cue mass panic withdrawals. Turns out, the story was a total fabrication. Despite Nyame’s last-minute plea for mercy and a lawyer who tried to play the “he’s just a kid who made a mistake” card, the judge wasn’t swayed. On the flip side, Jeremiah Kobina Egyabeng, the IT pro who helped set up Jeffrey’s news portal, walked free.

  This whole drama is a reminder that in the world of news, it’s not just about breaking the story first—it’s about getting it right. And if you don’t? Well, let Jeffrey be your guide. Read more

• Mensah, a steel bender accused of defrauding two women of over GH¢23,000 has been acquitted. The court ruled there wasn’t enough proof to convict him, This case had it all: promises of recruitment into the Ghana Immigration Service, romantic entanglements, and a courtroom breakdown.He allegedly collected GH¢12,000 from Dosu and GH¢11,350 from Tetteh, but failed to deliver. The prosecution couldn't produce crucial proof like documents or messages, and the case was complicated by the fact that Mensah had romantic relationships with both complainants. The courtroom was charged with emotion as Dosu, unable to recover her money, burst into tears. Read more

• One unnamed Ghanaian woman who splurged GHs 3000 on butt enlargement products is now bloated beyond recognition and demanding a refund. According to her, she now looks like a live-roasted pig. She’s ballooned to the point where even her family can’t recognize her — and she’s dodging mirror selfies and family gatherings. Now, she’s on a mission for a refund. She’s also threatening to sue if her family decides to officially disown her. Read more

DEEP DIVE

GHS 5.2 Billion is Still a Win, Right?

Our government’s been hustling to get their T-Bill game on point, but for the sixth week running, they’ve just missed the mark. They were aiming for GHS 5.31 billion, but only managed to scoop up GHS 5.22 billion. Not a total L, but still, not quite the win they were hoping for.

Now, the 91-day T-Bill was the main character in this saga, pulling in a cool GHS 3.72 billion. Meanwhile, the 182-day bill did alright with GHS 1.25 billion, and the 364-day bill was just chilling with GHS 252 million. But even with all the interest, it seems like the government’s pitch wasn’t hitting all the right notes.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more complicated, the T-Bill yields decided to shake things up a bit. The 91-day bill crept up by 0.06%, giving off serious “I’m not like the other bills” energy. The 182-day bill followed suit, while the 364-day bill took a tiny dip (like when you were trying to hype yourself up for a party last weekend but end up staying in bed instead).

Looking ahead, the government’s eyeing GHS 5.08 billion in the next auction, still sticking to the same T-Bill lineup. They’re basically doubling down on their current strategy, like when you order the same thing at your favorite joint because it’s just safe. They’ve got big plans to raise a whopping GHS 78.44 billion in the third quarter, with most of that going toward rolling over existing debt. Whether they’ll hit their targets or keep missing by a hair remains to be seen. Read more

When Chasing a Dream Becomes Nightmarish

This Ghanaian man, who was just trying to chase his dreams, ended up in a nightmare situation at Brazil’s Guarulhos International Airport. Dude didn’t have the right visa, so he got stuck in a detention zone that’s more like a bad camping trip—minus the fun. We’re talking no food, no water, no showers. If this were an AirBnB, it’d be ranked zero-stars, and that’s being generous.

He was part of a group of “inadmissible travelers” from places like India, Nepal, and Vietnam, all crammed into this detention area like sardines in a tin. It’s giving Locked Up Abroad vibes but without the dramatic escape plan. The poor guy ended up needing medical help, but despite that, he didn’t make it. And the conditions these folks are stuck in? Straight-up human rights violations, according to Brazil’s Public Defender’s Office. It’s like the airport security decided to play gatekeepers to the afterlife, and it’s not cool.

Now, Brazil’s talking about tightening up its entry rules—because clearly, things weren’t tough enough already. Starting this week, if you don’t have a Brazilian visa, you either have to fly directly to your final destination or head back home. But no one’s sure what that means for the people already stuck in this airport detention horror show. Read more

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NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from:

1. www.myjoyonline.com

2. www.ghanaweb.com

3. www.citinewsroom.com

4. www.norvanreports.com

5. www.channel1new.com