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So, what’s in the bag today?
National: Campaigning in Ghana isn’t democracy; it’s Squid Game with a bank loan.
Crime: Bro pulled up to Parliament and turned it into a personal action movie—minus the soundtrack and logic.
Regional: Mining for gold, but the ground said, "Not today, bro."
National: Ablakwa said, “We’re not the Avengers of Corruption, just the detectives handing over the evidence.
Regional: When conflict breaks out, even jollof can become a luxury.
Politics: Ghana’s EC is calling for backup because election collation isn’t supposed to feel like the Hunger Games.
Fact of the Day: What’s a group of owls?
Politics: The NPP crushed TikTok dances, but the NDC ran the airwaves like prime-time TV bosses.
QUICK BYTE
In Ghana, you have to drop an average of GH¢10 million just to chase a dream of honorable status. Now imagine losing. That’s the nightmare NPP MP Dr. Dickson Adomako Kissi unpacked, calling political campaigns a "very painful thing." Painful? Bruh, that’s like selling your kidneys, your car, and maybe your grandma’s kente, only to get a “thanks, but no thanks” at the polls. CODEO is all like, "This isn’t democracy; it’s a pyramid scheme." They’re calling for urgent reforms because, apparently, MPs paying campaign IOUs isn’t great for, you know, actually serving the public. Shocking, right? Read more
You know how in movies, the hero smashes cars while shouting dramatic lines like, “This is for justice!”? Yeah, this wasn’t that. Some guy in white strolled into Parliament and decided to give seven cars an unsolicited window makeover while yelling, “Daddy don’t destroy my people!” Was this a protest, a performance art piece, or a bad reaction to waakye? No one knows yet. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.
Four guys were out there doing the galamsey hustle, probably hoping to find gold and flex small this Christmas. But the ground said, “You’re not the main character,” and caved in faster than your New Year’s resolutions. One didn’t make it, and the rest are now on a first-name basis with the doctors at Nkawie Hospital. The victim, Osei Kwabena, was from Offinso—probably just a young man trying to chase dreams, but instead, he found tragedy. His body’s at the morgue now. NADMO’s come through with the “we told y’all it’s dangerous” speech. Read more
Turns out, being an Electoral Commission officer is scarier than a haunted house at midnight. The EC is asking for beefed-up security after staff were attacked during and after the December 2024 elections. Even security personnel on duty felt like extras in an action movie—outnumbered and outpaced by angry party supporters. Dr. Serebour Quaicoe, Director of Training, said, “No part of the collation centre is safe.” Read more
FACT OF THE DAY
A group of owls is called a parliament.
Bawku, once a buzzing business hub, now feels like a ghost town. Markets are quieter than your WhatsApp chat with that one friend who owes you money. And when trading activities slow down, families' pockets get lighter, leaving kids and even unborn babies on the losing side of the dinner table. Two kids have tragically lost their lives to malnutrition this year, with 65 others fighting the battle of undernourishment. Read more
NDC candidate John Dramani Mahama clinched 56.55% of the votes, while Bawumia trailed with 41.61%. Could media influence have played a role? Maybe, just maybe. According to Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia, the NDC’s stronghold on traditional media put the NPP at a disadvantage, even though the NPP party ruled social media streets like it owned Instagram. So the NPP needs to level up in the media space before the next elections. Read more
Samuel Okudzeto Ablakwa, chair of the Operation Recover All Loot (ORAL) team, wants everyone to relax. “We’re not here to prosecute; we’re just here to snitch to the right people.” ORAL’s mandate? Dig up the dirt, package it nicely, and drop it off at the offices of folks like the Attorney General, Special Prosecutor, or CHRAJ.
Ablakwa even got nostalgic, saying, “They used to call me the ‘Interceptor General’ (because, apparently, he collects more documents than SHS girls collect Kalyppo boxes.) Read more
Dr. Dsane, a retired forensic psychiatrist sees the 24-hour economy as more than just a policy—it’s a lifestyle shift for Ghana’s growth. He is talking about learning from global success stories, like China and India, and studying Ghana’s own history, including Kwame Nkrumah’s Seven-Year Development Plan. According to him, collaboration is key. He’s looking at everyone from local stakeholders to international partners like the World Bank and the Chinese government. He also wants to know if the incoming government take the leap and appoint a minister to make it happen? Read more
DEEP DIVE
Man Goes Full “Fast and Furious” on Parliament Cars
It’s a regular Wednesday at Parliament. Big men and women are minding their business, and then BOOM, this dude in crispy white threads shows up. At first, it looks like he’s there to flex. But nah, bro was on a Smash Bros mission. He didn’t just smash one car—he went seven-for-seven, looking like he was auditioning for a low-budget action flick.
And here’s the kicker: while being carted off, he was out here yelling at the sky like a Nollywood star, “Daddy don’t destroy my people!” Who’s Daddy? Why are his people in danger? And why did the cars have to suffer? So many questions, so little sense.
Eyewitnesses swear the guy might not have been in his right mind, which, fair, because mentally sound people don’t usually go karate kid on Parliament property. Was it the holiday stress? A prophetic vision gone wrong? Too much Fufu at lunch?
Now the police have him, but Parliament hasn’t said a word yet. Maybe they’re still processing how their parking lot became the scene of a live-action TikTok gone rogue. Three thing’s are for sure, though: Parliament’s parking lot now needs therapy, Accra remains undefeated for drama, and if you’re yelling at the sky in public, someone will call the police. Read more
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