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Have you heard? So Trump woke up and decided the Gulf of Mexico needed a rebrand—calling it the Gulf of America (because why not?). Google Maps played along, but only for U.S. users. Mexico’s President Sheinbaum wasn’t having it, basically saying, “You can’t rename an international sea just because you feel like it.” Then, in peak petty mode, she joked that Mexico should ask Google to label parts of the U.S. as Mexican America. 😂 Google hasn’t responded yet, but at this rate, don’t be shocked if North America gets rebranded as América Mexicana next. P-E-T-T-Y!!!
Anyway, here’s how it’s going down in our own backyard:
National: Ghana’s Vetting Session or WWE Smackdown?
Crime: Akwesi went mining for gold but ended up mining for MP3 players, and now he's mining stones in prison!
National: Mahama basically told his ministers, “If you touch galamsey, it’s over for you” – no long talk, no second chances, just pure African parent energy.
Sports: Black Stars’ AFCON hopes are gone, Painstil says they’re heartbroken—meanwhile, Ghanaians are here thinking, “Are we a joke to you?”
National: Oscar Larbi is either an MP or Ghana’s newest gold rush entrepreneur—either way, Mahama’s got a petition with his name on it.
Politics: Gifty Klenam pulled a full 180, jumping from NPP to NDC, and says it’s not personal.
Fact of the Day: Riddle, riddle. What’s the only thing that can scratch diamonds?
National: GCB is rolling out a GH₵3 million loan package for Kantamanto fire victims.
QUICK BYTE
Enock Buamah, also known as Akwesi the Miner, wasn’t just digging for gold—he was also digging into people’s homes. And for what? MP3 players, sandals, and soap. My guy said self-care is key, but at another man’s expense. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.
Ghana’s vetting session went from parliamentary proceedings to WrestleMania real quick! One minute, MPs were grilling nominees, and the next, tables were flipping, microphones were flying, and the venue looked like a funeral reception after jollof finishes too early. Things got so out of hand that they had to relocate the entire process. The damage was so bad that even if the tech guys were around, there wasn’t enough Super Glue in the world to fix those mics in time. With the way things escalated, it looks like this particular L came with WWE backstage brawls. Read more
You ever had that one friend who swore on their life they’d never switch from iPhone to Android, but the moment their charger stopped working, they were in a Samsung store faster than you could say “low battery”? Yeah, that’s Gifty Klenam right now. After two solid terms as an NPP MP and a whole CEO gig under the Akufo-Addo government, sis has decided it’s time for a rebrand—NDC edition. But she says it’s not beef, just “principles.” Read more
Imagine your first day at work, and your boss looks you dead in the eye and says, "If I catch you stealing office pens, you’re out!" That’s basically what Prez Mahama did with his new ministers—except instead of pens, it's galamsey, and instead of getting fired, you’re probably getting dragged through the mud (literally). Like don’t even dream about it. He’s also yanking mining leases from companies operating in forest reserves. Read more
GCB Bank isn’t just sending thoughts and prayers to te Kantamanto fire victims. They’re bringing cash. The bank has launched a GH₵3 million loan package to help affected traders get back on their feet.
Here’s the deal:
🔹 Three-month payment break – No stress till April.
🔹 Nine-month repayment plan – Making a comeback smoother.
🔹 Quick disbursement – No long wahala.For once, it’s not just “we’re with you” speeches. Now, let’s hope the traders can flip this into a major comeback. Read more
FACT OF THE DAY
The only thing that can scratch a diamond is a diamond.
You ever met that one uncle who acts all righteous at family meetings but is secretly the reason the Christmas jollof had no meat? Yeah, that’s the energy Oscar Larbi, the Aowin MP, is giving right now. A whole coalition has basically formed an Avengers-style alliance to petition President Mahama over allegations that Larbi is deep in the illegal mining trenches. The coalition isn’t here for the vibes and inshallah approach—they want a proper investigation. With Mahama already on his "I will sanction any minister involved in galamsey" energy, Oscar Larbi better start drafting his "I was misquoted" speech. Read more
Ghana missing AFCON for the first time in 21 years? Bro, if heartbreak was a national sport, we’d be defending champions by now. Joseph Painstil is out here trying to explain the mess, but Ghanaians have already activated their “we don’t want to hear explanations” mode. According to him, the Black Stars are just as heartbroken as we are. He says they’re working hard, but football has changed—every country now has ballers playing in Europe, so the competition is tough. Sounds legit, but Ghanaians aren’t buying it. Angola, Sudan, and Niger—teams we used to whip—left us at the bottom. How? Read more
DEEP DIVE
Side Hustle? Stealing from Farmers!
It all started when farmer James Arthur wo likes in Kofi-Gyan (in the Hunu-Prestea area) returned home to find his door looking like it had survived an armed robbery scene in a Kumawood movie. First, GH¢4,500 disappeared. Then, a few weeks later, Akwesi came back for round two, breaking in through the back window and making off with a pen drive, MP3 players, two pairs of sandals, and six cakes of soap. Clearly, my guy was building a personal sound system while staying fresh and clean.
But crime doesn’t pay—especially when you’re not slick. Akwesi got caught by the Kofi-Gyan Unit Committee Taskforce during another operation. The farmer pulled up like a detective, confronted him, and in classic “E be me do am” fashion, Akwesi confessed on the spot. He even took them to his house to retrieve the stolen items.
The court didn’t find the story funny, though. They gave Akwesi three months of hard labour—meaning no MP3s, no new sandals, and certainly no soap luxuries in the prison. Read more
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