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So, what’s in the bag today?
National: If your tap is still running, congrats—you're officially the 1%.
Sports: Kotoko and Hearts fans coming together is like Kenkey and Jollof sharing one plate—unheard of, but beautiful.
National: Mahama just sent China the "U up?" text of international trade to China.
Crime: If your school’s dining food mysteriously vanished, check if your headmaster is driving a pick-up.
Education: You know how our parents always claim they walked 10 miles barefoot through the forest just to get to school? Well, these kids don’t even need to exaggerate their hardship stories in the future.
Fact of the Day: Do you know how many bones your toes have?
Regional: At this rate, Teiman residents might need Google Maps to locate their own front doors."
Politics: If Ghanaian politics had a "Most Dramatic Constituency" award, Ablekuma North would be clearing the shelves.
QUICK BYTE
If Ghana’s economy were a WhatsApp group chat, Mahama just hit the group with, “Ei guys, add your Chinese friends o, let’s make money together.” Speaking at the Chinese Lantern Festival, he gave a presidential TED Talk on why Ghana and China should deepen their business situationship. From construction to agriculture, Chinese investors have been Ghana’s unofficial “sponsors”, and Mahama wants that energy renewed like a tv subscription. Now, we wait to see if China responds with a “Wahala for who no get foreign investment.” Read more
Water shortage is doing Ghanaians dirty. Tamale, Bimbilla, Kasoa, Ho are suffering, hospitals are stressed, and even people in jail are like, “This wasn’t part of the sentence.” The fix? GWCL will install a spare pump by Thursday and cross their fingers that it works. They even had to warn against water theft—which means somewhere, someone is currently out here committing liquid fraud. They promise Ho will have water in a week. But Ghanaians have trust issues—cough Dumsor cough—so until then, it’s every man for himself. In the meantime, if you have water, you’re now upper class. And if your friend suddenly starts visiting you too often, just know—it’s not love, it’s your Polytank. Read more
You ever seen those action movies where a hero is dodging obstacles, weaving through narrow spaces, and barely making it out alive? Yeah, well, that’s Teiman residents every day—except their villain isn’t some secret spy agency, it’s land encroachers who have turned their roads into hide-and-seek arenas. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below
Ei, you see that thing where two people start arguing, and before you know it, they’re standing chest-to-chest like two rams about to settle an ancestral beef? Yeah, that’s the energy in Ablekuma North right now. The NDC has drawn a line in the sand, and the NPP is standing on the other side, rolling up their sleeves like it’s fight night at Bukom Boxing Arena. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below
FACT OF THE DAY
Your big toe only has 2 bones and the rest have 3.
If you ever wondered why SHS students complain about insufficient food, we might have found a prime suspect. The Ghana Education Service (GES) has interdicted the headmaster of Piina Senior High School, Adams Mahama Issahaku, for allegedly pulling an Operation Chopbox Evacuation—aka smuggling food meant for students. On February 6, Mr. Issahaku’s official pick-up was allegedly caught transporting unapproved groceries from Piina SHS to Wa, and before he could say “it’s a donation”, the GES placed him on administrative leave. Read more
If you’ve ever sat through a Kotoko vs. Hearts match, you know the tension is thicker than banku made with plenty corn dough. These two sets of fans argue like divorced parents at PTA meetings. But on Sunday, for the first time in forever, they put the beef aside and came together to mourn one of their own—Nana Pooley. 💔 A Kotoko ride-or-die (literally), Pooley was the kind of fan who probably knew more club stats than his own birthday. This was a man who, on his wedding day, ditched the dancefloor for a jama session. For once, the biggest rivalry in Ghanaian football wasn’t about bragging rights; it was about respect. But we’re sure somewhere in the crowd, at least one fan probably whispered, “We still better pass you”. Read more
Imagine waking up for school and instead of picking up your backpack, you have to grab a life jacket first. (cue viral soundtrack) Just kidding, just kidding, there’s no life jacket. Students in Asuokow risk their lives daily crossing a river for school. 🚣♂️ Mahama vows urgent action under his Reset Ghana agenda to fix the issue ASAP. Read more
DEEP DIVE
Teiman roads turn into obstacle courses.
Apparently, some folks woke up and chose DIY urban planning, slapping buildings, kiosks, and even public toilets right in the middle of access roads. Now, frustrated drivers are out here attempting Fast & Furious: Teiman Drift Edition, trying to maneuver through spaces so tight, even mosquitoes struggle to pass. And the worst part? Every time authorities demolish these illegal structures, like a stubborn pimple, they pop back up again.
One resident in the New York City 1st Close area, Madam Rose Gamon, swears her family owns part of the disputed land and is watching it disappear faster than jollof at a wedding buffet. Meanwhile, Kwame Gyamfi, one of the accused encroachers, is sticking to his story: “But I bought it legally!” Which is cute, except if the land is technically a road, then our guy just bought prime real estate on a highway.
Now, the community is begging authorities to step in before someone gets trapped in an unofficial maze of illegal structures. But as expected, municipal officials have hit us with the classic “No comment”, aka the universal sign for we’re not ready for this stress right now. Until then, Teiman residents better start perfecting their parkour skills, because soon, it might be the only way to get home. Read more
Most Dramatic Constituency
At the heart of this political jollof is Amos Blessing, NDC’s Greater Accra Regional Youth Organiser, who basically told party supporters to treat NPP members like that one friend who always borrows money and "forgets" to pay back—stay vigilant, trust no one. And as if the tension wasn’t thick enough, Frank Annoh-Dompreh of the NPP gave the Electoral Commission a one-week ultimatum to declare the parliamentary results or else…well, let’s just say it’s giving "hold me, I’ll slap you."
Meanwhile, the police are out here doing their best impression of background actors in a Nollywood film—silent and unbothered. Amos Blessing wasn’t having it, though. He practically called them out like a disappointed parent: “If things escalate, the IGP will suddenly remember his job.” Because apparently, law and order are on "wait and see" mode.
Now, the streets are heated, party supporters are on high alert, and somewhere, a political commentator is probably drafting a tweet that starts with "This is unprecedented." But honestly, at this rate, Ablekuma North might just need a referee, not an Electoral Commission. Someone, please, blow the final whistle before this turns into Election Kumkum Bhagya anaa you people say it has even passed that level? 🤔🤔 Read more
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