We're not getting married!

This week:

• Business: AT Ghana and Telecel Ghana are not getting married, moving in together, or even holding hands. It’s just a messy situation they’re trying to clean up.

• Education: WAEC caught Adventist Day SHS candidates trying to turn WASSCE into “WhatsAppCE.” Phones seized, hall shut, students relocated under hawk-eyed supervision.

• Crime: Quack doctors caught faster than side chicks on Valentine’s Day.

• National: Confidentiality is dead. Even in-camera now has ring light.

• Crime: Akpaloo vs EOCO: Season 1, Episode Bail

• Fact of the Day: The blood of lobsters is colourless.

• National: If you were planning to cash out from abroad, sorry o, BoG just said “this feature is temporarily unavailable.”

• Crime: Immigration officer’s family says they can’t hold a funeral till they get the “full download.”

QUICK BYTE

• Sam George had to grab the mic and tell everybody to calm down. Apparently, AT Ghana and Telecel Ghana are doing some restructuring, but not in the “Beyoncé and Jay-Z collab” type of way. He stressed like when your mum repeats your full name three times, that it’s not a merger, not an acquisition, but some “force majeure situation.” Now here’s the good news: no one is getting sacked. Sam George looked the staff dead in the eye and said, “Chale, your jobs are safe. Nobody is re-applying for anything unless you pack your own bag.” Which is rare in Ghana, ‘cause usually restructuring be like when your barber says, “Don’t worry, I got you,” then next thing you know you’re bald. Read more

• You’re feeling sick small small, you walk into a clinic expecting “Dr. Mensah, MBChB” … but instead you get someone who failed their exam twice, still pressing stethoscope to your chest like it’s Bluetooth headphones. That’s literally what the Medical and Dental Council just busted four people moving wild in white coats without license. Get the full deets in the Deep Dive section.

• So fam, Kofi Akpaloo, the man repping LPG (and no, not the cooking gas, the party), just found himself in EOCO’s VIP holding lounge. Allegedly, he’s been dipping his fingers in more pots than kelewele sellers at 10pm. Fraud, causing financial loss, public funds wahala, money laundering, the whole buffet. EOCO said “pull up,” and he didn’t exactly RSVP by choice. He’s on bail though. But man needs ₵10 million and two sureties with receipts. Until that bag is secured, EOCO is basically saying, “nah fam, hold this hostel bed.” Read more

• You know how your mum can tell when you’re hiding meat in the soup? That’s exactly how WAEC caught Adventist Day SHS students. Turns out some candidates tried to turn their exam hall into an MTN branch, phones everywhere. WAEC just looked at them like, “Ah, so this is not WASSCE, this is WhatsAppCE?” and shut the whole hall down. They have promised they’ll scrub those results harder than your mum scrubs the bathroom. Read more

• You ever tell your friend a deep secret, then next thing you know, the whole compound house is whispering it? That’s basically how former Chief Justice Sophia Akuffo feels right now. She went to give her testimony in-camera (fancy way of saying “private private”) at the committee looking into Gertrude Torkornoo’s removal. Only to wake up and see gist about her appearance all over social media. And sis was not having it. In her words, the whole thing smelt like bad faith, the kind of “see me finish” move you don’t even expect from enemies. She said she didn’t even spot paparazzi or sneaky bloggers hanging around when she entered, so who leaked it? Committee staff with loose lips? Invisible spirits? Nobody knows. Read more

• So Bank of Ghana basically pulled the ultimate parental control on five remittance apps, including the fan favorite, Taptap Send. Yup, starting September 18, they’re on a one-month timeout for playing fast and loose with the rules. The apps were out here sliding DMs with some PSPs (Payment Service Providers) they weren’t supposed to; Halges, Cellulant, Flutterwave, and BoG said, “We said guidelines, not vibes.” Long story short, until these apps reapply properly through their banks, your “abrokyire” uncle’s September remittance might have to arrive the old-school way, envelope inside a suitcase. Read more

• Two months after immigration officer Stephen King Amoah’s tragic death, his family is still saying, “Wait, pause. Where are the rest of his body parts?” Yup, during burial prep they noticed some things didn’t add up, literally and now they’re refusing to proceed until the full package is delivered. The court is asking the family to chill and let the system work, but chale, patience doesn’t cancel pain. For now, the story is stuck on “to be continued” until October 9. Ghana police say justice will take its full course, but the family is like, “Cool story, but bring our brother back complete.” Read more

RDEEP DIVE

When Grey’s Anatomy Meets Kejetia

One of them, madam Kate Baidoo, was out here consulting patients at Osag Medical Centre with zero registration. Another guy, Ebenezer Koomson, actually finished a Physician Assistant program but refused to write the final exam, man said “skip boss level” like life is Mortal Kombat. Then there’s Innocent Tagbovi, who the MDC already arrested in 2017. Guess what? Bro spun the block, came back in 2025 still treating patients like “long time, no see.” Last but not least, Ebenezer Sarpong was also caught this August in Swalaba Bukom, hustling prescriptions like it was small chops.

The MDC didn’t play. They went undercover, caught them live in action, consulting rooms, patients and all. Imagine thinking you’re seeing a doctor, meanwhile it’s just someone with vibes, confidence, and an EZWICH card. Ghana is wild.

Moral of the story? Don’t let anyone “practise” medicine on you like it’s karaoke night. Always check the credentials, because vibes + white coat ≠ doctor. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from:

1. www.myjoyonline.com

2. www.ghanaweb.com

3. www.citinewsroom.com

4. www.norvanreports.com

5. Channel1news