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When Adekunle Gold Sang ‘If I Can’t Have You, Nobody Can'

’Kofi took it as a personal assignment.

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Chale News
March 21, 2025

So, what’s in the bag today?

  • Regional: Kejetia management put on ‘We’ll Be Right Back’ mode!

  • Crime: Ex-husband fumbles murder plot, lands himself a jail cell instead!

  • National: Ghana’s new motto: Do galamsey, go home—no return ticket!

  • General News: Obinim inserts himself into Anas’ lawsuit, but Anas responds with a firm “Bro, who asked you?”

  • Crime: They stole fuel, staged an accident, and set a whole tanker ablaze

  • Fact of the Day: Which country has the most pyramids in the world? If you said Egypt, you’re wrong.

  • Regional: Adum traders lost their shops, a firefighter got fired (literally), and the flames had the audacity to ignore the water like a bougie girl in a trotro.

  • National: When even ghosts get paid before you.

QUICK BYTE

  • Breakups can be rough, but this guy took it way too far. Meet Kofi Nkrumah, a 42-year-old farmer who decided that if he couldn't have his ex-wife, neither could the land of the living. So, what did he do? He lured Grace Akose Akowuah into the bush at Sefwi Chirano, went full action movie villain on her with a cutlass, and left her beside a river in a pool of blood—thinking he had finished the job. Spoiler alert: he hadn’t. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • If Kejetia Market had a WhatsApp status right now, it’d probably be “Taking a break, be back soon… or not.” The Ashanti Regional Coordinating Council (ARCC) just hit the pause button on the market’s management team, telling them to step aside while they investigate allegations of, you guessed it, serious mismanagement. You know things are bad when the people who are supposed to manage a whole market are being managed out of their own office.

    Apparently, Kejetia has been moving a little too ‘vibes and Insha Allah’ with its operations. Issues like unpaid electricity bills, sanitation problems, and fire hazards stacking up. Read more

  • You know that one person who randomly inserts themselves into things that have nothing to do with them? That’s basically what Bishop Daniel Obinim just pulled with Anas Aremeyaw Anas. The man woke up and decided he was part of a lawsuit he was never invited to. A video circulating on social media claims Anas reached out to Obinim, asking him to join forces against Kennedy Agyapong in court. But Anas and his people at Tiger Eye PI have shut that down faaast. Get the 411 in the Deep Dive section below

  • If you’re a foreigner in Ghana and your ‘side hustle’ involves galamsey or some other fraudulent wahala, pack your bags now before the government does it for you. Interior Minister Muntaka Mohammed Mubarak just confirmed that 107 foreign nationals have been sent on an all-expenses-paid trip back home for their illegal mining and shady dealings. Speaking at the Police Regional Commanders' Conference, the Minister made it clear that this isn’t just a one-time thing; it’s now standard procedure. And if you think you can just rent out your bulldozer for galamsey while chilling at home, think again. The government is tracing tax records to see who’s profiting from these illegal ventures. Also, police commanders who turn a blind eye? They’re about to get transferred so far, their Google Maps will need an update. Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

❝

Sudan has more pyramids than any country in the world.

  • You ever watch a crime movie and think, “These guys should have just gotten a 9-to-5”? Well, meet our latest nominees for the Worst Criminals of the Year award. Five guys decided to pull off what they thought was a master heist—steal diesel, sell it on the low, and stage a fiery accident to cover their tracks. Basically, Ocean’s Five but with more soot and terrible decision-making.

  • Adum market traders woke up to a fire so intense, it had everyone scrambling like JHS students who just heard “bring your report cards.” Fire officers arrived but had to park their tenders so far, they might as well have been fighting the fire via Zoom. By the time their hoses reached, the flames had already won Employee of the Month. Meanwhile, a firefighter and a civilian both got injured because apparently, fire doesn’t do discrimination. Shops? Destroyed. Goods? Ashes. Traders? Stressed. As for the insurance companies? Probably somewhere sipping tea because how many traders actually have insurance? Read more

  • Ghana is really that place where real humans hustle for jobs while ghosts get paid like civil servants. Former National Service Authority (NSA) boss, Osei Assibey Antwi, just got a front-row seat at the National Investigations Bureau (NIB) over a payroll scandal. Real-life workers are out here writing “Dear Sir” cover letters while imaginary employees are securing salaries without stress. Osei Assibey showed up with his lawyer (because, of course, nobody goes to these things alone). Read more

DEEP DIVE

Man Tries to Off His Ex, Fails Spectacularly!

Kofi Nkrumah tried to permanently log out his ex-wife, but his plan was as bad as a WhatsApp breakup text. After attacking her with a cutlass and leaving her for dead, guess what? Grace survived. And not just survived, she lived to tell the tale! When news broke that she had been resuscitated, Kofi pulled a Usain Bolt and bolted. But luck wasn’t on his side because security officers at the Ghana Bauxite Company caught him before he could even come up with an escape plan. His dreams of freedom? Cancelled. His court date? Set for April 3rd. His fate? Let’s just say blue top and down might be in his future.

The Bibiani Magistrate Court didn’t waste time; they remanded him straight into police custody. Because, honestly, when your great master plan includes attacking someone with a cutlass and assuming they’ll stay down like a bad Wi-Fi connection, you kinda deserve to be locked up.

Grace, on the other hand, is living proof that some people just can’t be defeated. We hope she recovers fully and leaves Kofi to enjoy his extended stay in the "thinking corner" (aka jail). Read more

Please, dey your dey

Tiger Eye PI issued a statement like, “Cap. Big cap.” They called the claims entirely false and at best, a fabrication—which is a fancy way of saying, Obinim, why you dey lie? They also pointed out that Anas doesn’t even know Obinim’s phone number or address, so this supposed “contact” is giving serious airtime promo scam vibes. Imagine someone saying your crush texted them, but you don’t even have their number. That’s how unserious this whole thing sounds.

Anas just bagged an $18 million legal win in the US, so you think he needs a tag team partner for a Ghanaian lawsuit? This man has been exposing high-profile corruption for years, and suddenly, he’s calling up Obinim for backup? What’s the plan? Spiritual warfare in the courtroom? Please. Anas doesn’t need a prophecy, just a solid legal argument, which he clearly has.

Tiger Eye PI said Anas has never spoken to Obinim, doesn’t even know where he lives, and definitely isn’t looking for co-plaintiffs like it’s a group project.

The man is already winning solo. Obinim, please take a seat. Read more

The Fast & The Fuel-ious: Diesel Edition

Their grand plan? Reroute 54,000 litres of diesel meant for BOST in Buipe, flip it for quick cash, and then make the evidence go up in flames. Smart, right? Except their "mastermind" move was setting an entire tanker ablaze… in broad daylight. Because nothing screams “we totally didn’t do this” like a burning fuel truck chilling in a cashew farm. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.

The police, who clearly had an easier time solving this case than deciding what to eat for lunch, arrested five out of the seven suspects. One of them, Alhaji Iddrisu, was so deep in his "I made it" era that he bought himself an 85-inch Samsung TV, home theatre sound system, and a Toyota Camry—because what’s a fuel heist without a little self-care? Meanwhile, another guy copped a Toyota Vitz. Because, if you’re going to commit a crime, at least get a car that doesn’t scream “taxi driver on a budget.”

Now, as their case plays out in court, the streets are left wondering—was it worth it? The drama? The arrests? The vehicles that have now been seized? These guys could have just sold yams and made a decent living, but no, they wanted to be fuelpreneurs. Now, instead of spending that GHC834,300, they’ll be spending some quality time explaining their life choices to a judge. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: