Who pressed shuffle?

Economy calm small, politics heat up, football scatter, and tomatoes are now a national security issue.

Author

Chale News
April 01, 2026

Whew, March was a lot. Between the Independence Day hype, diplomats hustling at the UN, soldiers dodging missiles, and everyday stories at home, Ghana’s got more headlines than ever. But we’re still here, still chatting. On a softer note, government said “everybody breathe small” and declared holidays for Eid. Two whole days to reset, eat heavy, and pretend life isn’t hard. So we did prayers in the morning, jollof in the afternoon/house to house for meat, sleep in the evening. Balance. And we’re about to repeat something like that this weekend. Everybody, shout POWER!!!

Quick heads up: We’re going monthly now. Not because we’re tired but because the news is a full buffet. So instead of feeding you crumbs every week, we’re bringing you one solid plate at the end of the month. Come hungry.

  • Politics: NPP’s edge slipping: A new poll says the ruling NPP’s support is eroding while the NDC surges

  • National: Ghana Defence University gets cash: The government just earmarked GH¢25 million to kickstart a Ghana Defence University

  • Sports: The Black Stars have officially parted ways with coach Otto Addo

  • Sports: Parliament’s Speaker Bagbin was “very, very surprised” to hear coach Otto Addo was axed.

  • Fact: Thai police officers have to wear a Hello Kitty armband as punishment.

  • Regional: Imagine Trotro for 15 carrying 40. That’s Kejetia Market for you.

    These and everything that happened while you were minding your business 👇🏽

QUICK BYTE

  • On the world stage, Ghana’s been making moves. At the United Nations, Mahama got 123 countries to back a resolution calling the slave trade “the gravest crime” and pushing for reparations. It passed… global victory vibes but not without drama. The U.S. (joined by Israel and Argentina) pretty much said “Nah, we’re not on board yet”. Global politics be savage. Still, Mahama called it a “landmark achievement”.

  • March had its share of down-to-earth chaos too. First off, nature hit back. On March 29, Accra got pounded by heavy rain – parts of Dansoman, Weija, Kaneshie, and all those hustling Accra spots turned into impromptu swimming pools. Cars were wading, streets were rivers, and your morning drive was basically a rowboat practice. The floods didn’t report any deaths (thankfully), but it’s deja vu for people who complain about Ghana’s drainage system every rainy season. Locals are like, “Not again?!” Flooding’s become the uninvited guest at Accra’s party.

  • Then there’s the tragic stuff. On March 29, a partly-built church in Accra New Town collapsed mid-service and killed three people. The building was supposed to be a makeshift church, but it just fell apart while people were inside worshipping. Ghana Institute of Architects warned (after the fact) that letting folks dance and drum in half-built structures is a disaster waiting to happen. Guys, this one hurt the whole country. Three lives lost, and many more trapped, just because someone thought it was safe to worship in a construction site. Chale, this is exactly the kind of avoidable tragedy we want to fix before #69 becomes #70 in tears.

  • Even civil service had drama. CLOGSAG, that’s the union for local government workers called off their nationwide strike on March 17. They were on strike for two weeks over salary structures, but the government asked for more time to talk, so on March 24 everyone went back to their desks. So at least the mail’s coming again and offices aren’t ghost towns (for now).

  • You know how sometimes you check your exam results and suddenly your whole mood changes? That’s basically what just happened to the New Patriotic Party. A new survey by Global Info Analytics dropped, and chale… the numbers are moving like group members leaving WhatsApp quietly. Their support dipped small from 26% to 25%, but the real drama? The National Democratic Congress is gaining like someone who just discovered TikTok consistency. Those undecided voters we’ve been watching like suspense series? Yeah… they’re slowly saying “hmm maybe NDC oo.” If I’m the NPP campaign team right now, I’m not sleeping. At all.

  • Meanwhile, government said “let’s build soldiers with brains AND bandwidth” and dropped GH¢25 million for a whole Ghana Defence University. Yes, a full military uni where cadets won’t just be doing parade and push-ups, they’ll also be learning AI. Soldier man will be debugging code before morning drills. It’s giving mental, IYKYK😂😂) The plan is to make them sharp both physically and mentally, because apparently war these days isn’t just guns, it’s also keyboards and WiFi. The future is giving Call of Duty but with coursework.

  • Then boom! Football fans were minding their business and the Ghana Football Association said “surprise!” and sacked Otto Addo. Just like that. After losses to Austria and Germany, they didn’t even say “let’s talk,” they said “pack your things.” Now everyone is stressed because World Cup vibes are loading and we’re coach-less like a group project without a leader. Even Alban Bagbin was confused like the rest of us, basically asking, “so what exactly is the game plan here?” When Speaker himself is doing post-match analysis, you know the pressure is cooking.

FACT OF THE MONTH

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In Thailand, male police officers wear a large bright pink Hello Kitty armband if they misbehave. This is a punishment for minor offenses such as illegal parking and littering. The officer has to wear the armband for a few days, and he is not allowed to disclose his offense to others.

  • On the cyber streets, somebody also woke up and chose violence… online. A 49-year-old man posted threats against a High Court judge (???), and the police said “yeah, no.” The cybercrime team swooped in fast-fast and picked him up. Moral of the story: this isn’t Twitter where you type and log out. You threaten a judge, you will meet real-life consequences, not just comment section debates.

  • Oh, and after Burkina Faso said “no more tomatoes for you,” Ghana said “bet” and is now planning to grow its own. Because why are we importing stew ingredients like it’s luxury? The plan is to farm more, revive factories, and stop depending on outside supply. Basically: no more tomato heartbreak.

  • Then to add spice, someone from the Council of State said the boss of Economic and Organised Crime Office should be sacked. Kwamigah-Atopley vs Raymond Archer. Nothing dramatic yet, but you can already tell, tension is brewing like brukutu.

  • Zooming out, Accra also hosted big climate brains from across Africa, all trying to figure out how to survive global warming without losing our sanity. The irony? Africa barely contributes to pollution but is suffering like we caused it. So now the continent is basically saying “if we don’t speak up, we’ll sweat in silence.”

  • In money matters, mining giant Newmont Corporation came through with GH¢12.8 billion paid to government. Yes, billion with a B. That’s taxes, royalties, the whole package. So somewhere in Ghana’s accounts, things are looking a bit healthier… at least on paper.

  • And for once, something nice: inflation is cooling down. Prices are finally behaving small. After all the “everything is expensive” era, the economy is now doing “okay, let me calm down.” Not perfect, but at least your money isn’t disappearing like airtime anymore (allegedly oo).

  • But not everywhere is soft life. In Kumasi, traders at Kejetia Market are basically saying “this place is one strong wind away from becoming a documentary.” The place was built for around 8,700 people but now holding over 12,000. Imagine trotro for 15 people carrying 40! Eherhn, that’s the energy. Emergency exits have turned into shops, structures are tired, and everyone is just there hoping nothing happens. It’s giving “we’ll fix it later” but later is looking scary.

AND IF YOU THINK WE’RE LYING..

Receipts don’t lie: