You people like fake news too much

COCOBOD said wake up, you’re dreaming.

Author

Chale News
February 17, 2025

So, what’s in the bag today?

  • Agriculture: COCOBOD says no price hike, so if you saw a flyer saying otherwise? E be fake news, my guy.

  • National: You can run, but you can’t ghost us forever.

  • National: Global oil drops, but Ghanaian fuel prices? Still climbing like transport fares in rush hour.

  • National: Ghanaians and T-Bills? Love story of the year!

  • Economic: Ghana’s ‘Gold-for-Oil’ deal is supposed to save forex, but right now, it’s just saving losses at the Bank of Ghana.

  • Regional: An 11-year-old boy was found at the Owabi River, but not in the ‘Yo bro, I was lost’ kind of way.

  • Fact of the Day: When it comes to healing, there’s only one part of your body that does it the quickest.

  • National: Prez Mahama says no immediate IMF extension—Ghana go chop fiscal discipline, not extra debt.

QUICK BYTE

  • Cocoa farmers thought their money was about to go from ‘Sika mpɛ dede’ to ‘Sika ye mogya’, but COCOBOD just burst their bubble. Apparently, a flyer claimed cocoa farmers would now get 70% of the world market price, but COCOBOD said LIES AND PROPAGANDA. They urged everyone to chill and wait for official announcements instead of believing every ‘screenshot from my uncle who knows somebody at the Ministry’ type of gist. Read more

  • You ever play hide-and-seek as a kid? The kind where you find a fire hiding spot, but after 10 minutes, you realize no one’s looking for you—so now you’re just chilling in a cupboard, questioning life? Well, apparently, Ghana’s former Finance Minister, Ken Ofori-Atta, is in his hide-and-seek era, except Asiedu Nketia swears they’re coming for him—no matter where he’s hiding. The man’s lawyers, though? They say it’s not that deep, that their client is just out of the country for medical care. The Minority in Parliament is calling foul play, claiming this is just another episode of "Politically Motivated Smear Campaigns. Read more

  • Ghanaians just oversubscribed T-bills by 117% like it was free WiFi at a café. Investors threw in GH¢17.69 billion, but the government played "hard to get" and only took GH¢9.43 billion. Meanwhile, interest rates are cooling off—so if you thought you’d retire off T-bills alone, better adjust expectations. But hey, in this economy, a little sure money is better than no money. Want the deets in full? Check out the Deep Dive section.

  • Global oil prices took a dive but Ghanaian fuel prices? Still playing stubborn. The Cedi fell by 2.18% against the dollar, wiping out any hope of cheaper fuel. Brent crude dropped 5.65%, but your wallet won’t feel it. For now, only Benab, Star Oil, and Zen Petroleum are offering some breathing room. Everyone else? Start considering bicycle life, because at this rate, fuel prices might just enter the Guinness Book of World Records. Read more

  • Ghana’s Gold-for-Oil deal was meant to ease forex pressure, but instead, the Bank of Ghana is bleeding losses. According to Bright Simons of IMANI Ghana, the central bank has lost hundreds of millions of dollars because, unlike private companies that hedge against gold price fluctuations, BoG just went in raw. No safety net. No backup plan. Just vibes and volatility. Meanwhile, $9bn worth of gold has moved, but PMMC’s financials aren’t adding up. Ghana wanted fuel stability, but what it’s getting instead is a transparency headache. Read more

FACT OF THE DAY

❝

The tongue is the fastest healing part of a human body.

  • This poor kid was found lifeless by the river, and up till now, no one knows how he ended up there. No notes, no breadcrumbs, no “brb” text. Just vibes and mystery. The Assembly Member, Joyce Osei Assibey, confirmed that the body has been sent to Komfo Anokye Teaching Hospital, but the boy’s family hasn’t even shown up yet. Now, unless this child was raised by Wi-Fi and TikTok trends, someone somewhere should be looking for him, right? Or are we about to witness the Ghanaian version of "Home Alone: The Village Edition"? Read more

  • You’re at your cousin’s wedding, and everything is going smoothly until Auntie Maggie and Auntie Akosua start beefing over who brought the best jollof. That was basically the last Ashanti Region Council of State election. After things went south faster than a trotro on an empty road, the Electoral Commission (EC) and the police had to call a serious family meeting to avoid another "de3n na ɛrekɔ so?" moment. This time, they’re keeping things extra tight. The election venue? Prempeh Assembly Hall. Security? Tighter than a new jar of shito. Even the candidates were invited to speak their truth and (hopefully) leave their boxing gloves at home. Frederick Adjei, one of the candidates, said he’s happy with the resolutions—though he’s still recovering from the previous election drama. Bro, did they give him PTSD or what? Read more

  • Mahama says no IMF extension yet—Ghana must chop fiscal discipline, not more debt. He’s fixing our tax system, managing our $15B debt wahala, and cutting waste before considering another IMF deal. March budget + April IMF review will tell if we’re really on track or just talking plenty. Read more

DEEP DIVE

T-bill love story

You know how when a new iPhone drops, people queue for hours just to get their hands on one? Well, that’s exactly how Ghanaians turned up for T-bills this week. The demand was so high, it oversubscribed by 117%! That’s more oversubscription than a gym in January (and we all know how that ends).

Investors threw in a whopping GH¢17.69 billion like they were trying to impress their crush, but the government? They played hard to get—accepting only GH¢9.43 billion. Even the 91-day bill alone collected GH¢6.82 billion in bids, while the one-year bill got GH¢6.28 billion worth of suitors. Basically, people said, "If the economy is gonna stress us, we might as well stress it back with some solid returns."

But interest rates are actually falling. The 91-day bill dropped by 113 basis points to 26.85%, while the 182-day and 364-day bills also slid a little. T-bills are still juicy, but not as juicy as they used to be. So, for those who invested thinking they’d get "small Dubai money," the returns are still good—just not "ball on a yacht" good. Read more

NEWS SOURCES

Today’s stories are curated from: